Funny Conversations

<scirDSL> I hated going to weddings. All the grandmas would poke me saying "You're next". They stopped that when I started doing it to them at funerals.

<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks?
<TheXPhial> vaccuums
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense?
<TheXPhial> black holes
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what just isn't cool?
<TheXPhial> lava?


<green> We vegetarians love the environment. carnivores are sick freaks.
<Frank> How can vegetarians possibly love the environment.. you keep eating all the bloody plants




<tag> Ouroboros: lets play Pong
<Ouroboros> Ok.
<tag> |    .
<Ouroboros> .    |
<tag> |  .
<Ouroboros>    . |
<tag> | .
<Ouroboros>      | .
<Ouroboros> Whoops



<NES> lol
<NES> I download something from Napster
<NES> And the same guy I downloaded it from starts downloading it from me when I'm done
<NES> I message him and say "What are you doing? I just got that from you"
<NES> "getting my song back f***er"



<T-Wolf> man, my girlfriend left me for some f4g named robert
<RdAwG20> you don't live in Hope mills do you?
<T-Wolf> ya, why man?
<RdAwG20> lol, just wondering, was her namne alisson?
<T-Wolf> you BASTARD




<i8b4uUnderground> d-_-b
<BonyNoMore> how u make that inverted b?
<BonyNoMore> wait
<BonyNoMore> never mind




<Cthon98> hey, if you type in your pw, it will show as stars
<Cthon98> ********* see!
<AzureDiamond> hunter2
<AzureDiamond> doesnt look like stars to me
<Cthon98> <AzureDiamond> *******
<Cthon98> thats what I see
<AzureDiamond> oh, really?
<Cthon98> Absolutely
<AzureDiamond> you can go hunter2 my hunter2-ing hunter2
<AzureDiamond> haha, does that look funny to you?
<Cthon98> lol, yes. See, when YOU type hunter2, it shows to us as *******
<AzureDiamond> thats neat, I didnt know IRC did that
<Cthon98> yep, no matter how many times you type hunter2, it will show to us as *******
<AzureDiamond> awesome!
<AzureDiamond> wait, how do you know my pw?
<Cthon98> er, I just copy pasted YOUR ******'s and it appears to YOU as hunter2 cause its your pw
<AzureDiamond> oh, ok.




t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
BlackAdder> i believe i speak for all of us when i say...
BlackAdder> WRONG
BlackAdder> IM SICK OF YOU
BlackAdder> AND YOUR LAME STORIES
BlackAdder> NOBODY  HERE THINKS YOURE FUNNY
BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR STORIES
BlackAdder> IN FACT
BlackAdder> IF YOU DIED RIGHT NOW
BlackAdder> I  DON"T THINK NOBODY WOULD CARE
BlackAdder> SO WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT F4G
*** t0rbad sets mode: +b BlackAdder*!*@*.*
*** BlackAdder has been kicked my t0rbad ( )
t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
CRCError> right
heartless> Right.
r3v> right




<Mendo> lmao there's a wicked lookign spider on my monitor and if i move the mouse around he chases after it
<spitfire> haha mendo
<spitfire> take a screen shot
<spitfire> wait
<spitfire> that made no sense




<mooseondaloose> Hey Mike
<goatboy> what?
<mooseondaloose> Pussy.
<goatboy> er?
<mooseondaloose> Pussy.
<goatboy> and?
<mooseondaloose> Pussy.
<goatboy> ...
<mooseondaloose> Pussy.
<goatboy> i dont get it
<mooseondaloose> AND YOU NEVER WILL.
<mooseondaloose> bastard




-This one is kind of offence-

(nevermind I better not put this convo in lol)





A Must see for anyone who hates those forward mail lists.


http://www.softlab.ece.ntua.gr/~sivann/pub/swf/ma...lepop-soapbox4.swf










Paradox Fever
Nobody goes to that restaurant, because it is too crowded.

Don't go near the water, till you have learned how to swim.

The man who wrote such a stupid sentence, can not write at all.

If you get this message, call me, and if you don't get it, don't call.

The following sentence is true. The previous sentence is false.

I am a liar. Can u trust me?  (this one is my favorite)



Think about these
Your mission is to not accept this mission. Do you accept?

This girl goes into the past and kills her Grandmother. Since her Grandmother is dead the girl was never born, if she was never born she never killed her grandmother and she was born. 

If the temperature this morning is 0 degrees and the Weather Channel says, "it will be twice as cold tomorrow,".... What will the temperature be?

Answer truthfully (yes or no) to the following question: Will the next word you say be no?






This Place never gets old... its always there and i always wonder, who pays for this??

http://www.something.com

This place brings back good old memories, i always die of laughter. I always wonder who pays for this too...

http://www.zombo.com (with sound)








Question:

What happens if you are in a car travelling the speed of light, and you turn your headlights on?


Joke

President Bush was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked the President if he would like to lead the discussion on the word "tragedy".

So the illustrious leader asked the class for an example of a "tragedy".

One little boy stood up and offered: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would be a tragedy."

"No," said Bush, "that would be an accident."

A little girl raised her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy."

"I'm afraid not," explained the president. "That's what we would call a great loss."

The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Bush searched the room.

"Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"

Finally at the back of the room a small boy raised his hand. In a quiet voice he said: "If Air Force One carrying you and Mrs. Bush was struck by

a "friendly fire" missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy."

"Fantastic!" exclaimed Bush. "That's right. And can you tell me why that would be tragedy?" "Well," says the boy, "It has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn't be a great loss and it probably wouldn't be an accident either."
























Lets see if you can do this..

This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is dumbass cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is thirty cat
This is seconds cat.

Now read the THIRD word in each line from the top.


question:

0 is false, 1 is true, correct?

Answer: 1

do you get it? ... think

LoL where do getting this stuff this must be the third thread about random crap youve found.....

hilarious though

I was actually in hysterics when reading this .

lmfao great! i love jokes and things like this very good random crap

quote:

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Originally posted by Jurassic_Ice

-This one is kind of offence-

(nevermind I better not put this convo in lol)

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quote:

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Originally posted by convo
<Cthon98> yep, no matter how many times you type hunter2, it will show to us as *******
<AzureDiamond> awesome!
<AzureDiamond> wait, how do you know my pw?
<Cthon98> er, I just copy pasted YOUR ******'s and it appears to YOU as hunter2 cause its your pw
<AzureDiamond> oh, ok.
Ben   very very happy says:
lol
Ben   very very happy says:
is he jus havin him on

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Lol we want more crap!

Here's a cartoon. it changes daily:

http://www.tedgoff.com/mb/images/today.gif

yes sir mr linx05, coming right up haha lol, so am i like "the thread crap guy" now lol hahah

are you really sure you want to see the offended one? I dont think i shoulld put it on, i dont wanna get booted, even though im not the one who wrote it lol

quote:

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Originally posted by Jurassic_Ice
are you really sure you want to see the offended one? I dont think i shoulld put it on, i dont wanna get booted, even though im not the one who wrote it lol

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quote:

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Originally posted by M73A

quote:

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Originally posted by Jurassic_Ice
are you really sure you want to see the offended one? I dont think i shoulld put it on, i dont wanna get booted, even though im not the one who wrote it lol

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pm me it and let me judge

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lmfao if i was jewish i don't think id be offended... but maybe thats just me...

great joke though

hahaha, it wasnt me who wrote it! keep that in mind lol, but do you think its inapropriate to post it in public? lol

quote:

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Originally posted by Jurassic_Ice
hahaha, it wasnt me who wrote it! keep that in mind lol, but do you think its inapropriate to post it in public? lol

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quote:

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Originally posted by Jurassic_Ice
-This one is kind of offence-

(nevermind I better not put this convo in lol)

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quote:

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Originally posted by MeEtc

quote:

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Originally posted by Jurassic_Ice
-This one is kind of offence-

(nevermind I better not put this convo in lol)

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Advice: never second-guess yourself. If you think its offensive, it probably is. As a moderator on another site, i clean up the trash every day.

If its bad, don't post it.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Jurassic_Ice
Funny Conversations

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yea thats the site for the IRC convos...

question, what was wrong with the evolution of man picture?

OMG i was reading that site.... i found this:

quote:

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Originally posted by irc site...

*** Topic in #doghouse is 'Our hearts are extended to the 17 victims of the recent internet fraud'
* Anubis has joined #doghouse
<Anubis> what fraud?
<Kadmium> You haven't heard about it?
<Anubis> no?
<Kadmium> You can read the full story at http://www.tubgirl.com
<Anubis> omg wtf!
*** Kadmium changes topic to 'Our hearts are extended to the 18 victims of the recent internet fraud'

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quote:

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bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears14: Aight.
bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
bloodninja: Me too baby.
BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears14: Hey...
bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 chicken of the Infinite.
BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
bloodninja: Don't f*ck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of ****.
bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
bloodninja: Baby?
--------------
BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?
eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.
eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again.
eminemBNJA: Oh ****
BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you f*ck up.
eminemBNJA: Oh ****
eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something

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quote:

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<ohm> damn
<ohm> FUCK
<ohm> DAMN
<ohm> i was just in an AIM convo with a chick, and my grandmother's window pops up
<ohm> FUCK
<ohm> i go like this to her
<ohm> "i want to suck on your clit"
<ohm> FUCK

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quote:

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<scirDSL> I hated going to weddings. All the grandmas would poke me saying "You're next". They stopped that when I started doing it to them at funerals.

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hahhaa, that one was halarious . There are a lot more on the site, but its alooottt to read, and some of them are really stupid, but others are halarious

quote:

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Originally posted by Jurassic_Ice
hahhaa, that one was halarious . There are a lot more on the site, but its alooottt to read, and some of them are really stupid, but others are halarious

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Well I guess you can check the top "Latest" link every now and then to see if there are any new conversations.

But look at the bottom it says "18190 quotes approved; 16118 quotes pending"

I remmeber last month when i went to this site, it had over 25,000 pending. So I gues it is updating, but the people who do it takes a while because some people send in very stupid convos that are not worth to post.

this is just the most hilarious convo ever

quote:

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Originally posted by bash.org
<born1986> why the fuck isn't my disc drive working
<born1986> i fucking worked on that essay for three friggin' hours in school
<born1986> i now i cant finish it 'cos my fuckin drive ain't working
<Z00ass> you got the right drivers?
<born1986> hell yes
<born1986> it was working fine yesterday
<born1986> why does this shit always happen to me?
<Z00ass> maybe that little clip on the side is i nthe wrong position
<born1986> i havent touched it since school
<born1986> i'm growing impatient
<born1986> ANGRY even
<Z00ass> throw that shit out tha window

. . .

<born1986> OMG i fuckin did it!!!
<born1986> FUCK!!!!!
<Z00ass> it works?
<born1986> no, i threw it out the window
<Z00ass> the disk?
<born1986> NO the whole drive
<born1986> i live on the 6th floor, made a nice *smash*
<Z00ass>
<born1986> FUCK SHIT FUCK
<born1986> THE DISK WAS STILL INSIDE
<born1986> brb

. . .

<born1986> shit
<Z00ass> what? did ya break it?
<born1986> well i couldn't open the drive
<born1986> so i had to pound it against a rock
<Z00ass>
<born1986> quite HARD
<born1986> and you know what?
<born1986> that fucking disk wasnt even there
<Z00ass> ???
<born1986> i got so mad i threw the remaiders of the drive on to the freeway
<born1986> and when i got back upstairs i foud the disk inside my bag
<Z00ass> lol
<born1986> I NEVER EVEN PUT IT IN THE DRIVE
<born1986> i'm actually cryin right now

. . .

<born1986> wonder if i could make that drive work again
<born1986> brb

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roflmao, what a stupid guy

hahaha, i foudn this one funny too:

<jenn> canada is ned flanders to usa's homer simpson.
<slurpee> hahahahahahahah
<slurpee> so true
<slurpee> "hidely-hodely, neighborino!"  "shut up, canada."

http://qdb.us > http://bash.org

I've read all of bash.org. I even know several of the mods/admins. Want a funny site to read? Try the newest one I'm being amused by: http://www.4q.cc/vin/index.php

M73A: as often as possible really; the mods work very hard but you should see the amount of lame submissions they have - duplicates, stupidity, inanity, insults even. It's updated when a mod finds a good enough quote to approve but bash has become such a phenomenon that its inundated with submissions. The mod I know best has approved like 400 out of the 50000 quotes he's gone through or some other such ridiculously low percentage.

Lol once again youve enterained me for a few minutes well done keep comming up with more off this stuff

quote:

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Originally posted by Jurassic_Ice
yes sir mr linx05, coming right up haha lol, so am i like "the thread crap guy" now lol hahah

are you really sure you want to see the offended one? I dont think i shoulld put it on, i dont wanna get booted, even though im not the one who wrote it lol

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quote:

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<xpiromx> True story, I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married.
<xpiromx> My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream!
<xpiromx> There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister.
<xpiromx> My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear.
<xpiromx> It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.
<xpiromx> One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived.
<xpiromx> She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome.
<xpiromx> She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.
<xpiromx> I was in total shock and couldn't say a word.
<xpiromx> She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me."
<xpiromx> I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me.
<xpiromx> I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door.
<xpiromx> I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked straight towards my car.
<xpiromx> My future father-in-law was standing outside.
<xpiromx> With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test.
<xpiromx> We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter.  Welcome to the family.
<xpiromx> The moral of this story is: "Always keep your condoms in your car"
Comment: #sakura<xpiromx> True story, I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married.
<xpiromx> My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream!
<xpiromx> There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister.
<xpiromx> My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear.
<xpiromx> It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.
<xpiromx> One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived.
<xpiromx> She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome.
<xpiromx> She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.
<xpiromx> I was in total shock and couldn't say a word.
<xpiromx> She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me."
<xpiromx> I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me.
<xpiromx> I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door.
<xpiromx> I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked straight towards my car.
<xpiromx> My future father-in-law was standing outside.
<xpiromx> With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test.
<xpiromx> We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter.  Welcome to the family.
<xpiromx> The moral of this story is: "Always keep your condoms in your car"
Comment: #sakura

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that thing is a b*tch to read                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 

quote:

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Originally posted by brian
http://qdb.us > http://bash.org

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qdb.us is less nazi and quotes actually get accepted there, and you can see the quotes in the submission queue and vote for them.

Lol. i like the spider one tis funny

ROFL

bash has the reputation for being THE IRC quotes site but the main admin, Blaxthos, is a major league arsehole so some people decided to make qdb.us.

LMAO the long one that linx05 posted was halarious