There's a situation: someone is going to make a joke, and it's at your expense. It insults something about you, either a personality trait, or something about your looks, etc.

Would you prefer this to be done behind your back, where you'll never find out about it (and subsequently not hurt you), or in front of you, where it may hurt you (but you'll get a chance to defend yourself)?

Feel free to discuss this too, of course. It's not just a poll.

Most people are just douches when they insult someone, I prefer not to act, regardless if it's too my face or behind my back.

I'd rather know; not to defend myself, but so that if it's something that I can actually do something about (i.e. personality) then I will improve. I usually don't defend myself, per say, but I do try to improve at the very least . As for looks, they can keep that to themselves, I don't care.

I'd rather know, so that I know who needs a medieval ass kicking.

Lou is just a better person than I am

I think it's rather dishonourable to talk crap about people behind their back and then when the person is there, smile and pretend that you like them. My principle is that if you say something bad about someone when they're not there, be willing to say it also in their presence.

As for defending yourself, I don't think you can really defend yourself against people's opinions. If someone wants to think a certain thing about you they will.

I always defend myself. I picked b, because even when I get insulted I can improve myself.
Although insults don't bother me a lot, I consider insults on my personality much more offensive than insults on my looks. But for some girls it might be the other way around. I'm a man BTW.

Most people who insult me just end up losing in a verbal fight. However I do ignore those who criticise me and want to pick fights. I won't get hurt or hurt anybody just because this brainless guy started yapping about me.

I join in with people who do this sorta stuff, if you can't beat them..

Salesman: I understand, and it's wonderful you don't care whether anyone questions your sexual orientation.
Fry: I care! I care plenty! I just don't know how to make them stop!
Salesman: One word: Thundercougarfalconbird!

* Sunshine agrees with Haz

In the event of someone talking behind my back and the subject was my behaviour or something along those lines I would like to be told, instead of being kept in the dark. Improvement doesn't come without suggestions and complaints. Of course, if someone just think I'm a douche, then I'm obviously not going to stop them believing that, after all we do live in a world with (none (and semi-)) free speech. Everyone are entitled to have their thoughts around people.

What I can't stand is the type that talk behind other peoples back (really often) and behaves completely different around that particular person. It's really annoying and I think it is a negative "feature".
I'd rather ignore the whole person, confront the person or be happy ever after and not bitch about it. It doesn't really help.

However, I am by far any angel. I have talked behind other peoples back, not negatively or with disrespect but simply discussing others. I do not find that to be a negative thing as long as one is able to keep on the subject without being disrespectful.

Just my cents.

a person who insults others behind their backs is not a person that deserves attention - i honestly don't care, but I'd say I'd rather know, just to know who not to associate with. as Clarice said:

quote:

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Originally posted by Haz
My principle is that if you say something bad about someone when they're not there, be willing to say it also in their presence.

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Erm, what i don't know doesn't hurt me i suppose, but if they say it too my face, i try not to take it to heart unless it's someone close to me like a good friend etc. I either laugh it off or try and throw one back at them

I used to wear glasses, and the only insult they could come up with was 4 eyes or something, so since I've had contacts I haven't had any problems so its allll good

I'd prefer to know who said it about me, and what they said, so I know who it is and if I can talk to them to see what their problem is, or if they're taking the piss lol.

I'm the sort of person where if I'm going to say something I will, like I don't go around insulting people but when I do have to insult someone its direct because its more honest and gives you a chance to hear that persons point of view or make them know you dislike them.

Its pretty much what has been said before:

quote:

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Originally posted by Haz
My principle is that if you say something bad about someone when they're not there, be willing to say it also in their presence.

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There should be a "I am least bothered" option. If they say it in front of me, I'll react if I feel the need. If its worth having a debate over, sure, I'll talk about it else just move on. If the person says it behind my back, as dishonorable as that is, he should have the guts to say it to my face. If he does, refer to answer given above else... well the person sucks too much/is a coward and either way, isn't worth me saying anything about.
Hope that makes sense

I would like to have somebody say something to my face. Sitting beside people in class while they say things about people yet pretend to be friendly face to face with that person, pisses me off.

When somebody does make a serious (as in they're not just joking around) insult to my face, I can win in a verbal fight/argument/debate. That is, unless they are somebody who is so stubborn and non-sensical with their arguments that my brain starts to hurt from trying to comprehend the verbal diarrhea they're spewing all over me. (Yeah, I get a bad picture in my head while reading that too )

Take for example silly little arguments about whom is smarter:
"You're stupid." (Actually serious)
"And of course you've got a degree in quantum mechanics ()"
"I'm way smarter than you." (Actually serious)
"At what?"
"I... I've got more street smarts than you." (Actually serious)
"And tell me, when in life is knowing where to buy drugs going to get you anywhere? "
"Well... You're stupid." *Walks away* (Yeah... He's actually serious)

I try to be serious about my school work, follow the rules, and just generally stay away from the people who do stupid shit.

quote:

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Originally posted by John Anderton
There should be a "I am least bothered" option. If they say it in front of me, I'll react if I feel the need. If its worth having a debate over, sure, I'll talk about it else just move on. If the person says it behind my back, as dishonorable as that is, he should have the guts to say it to my face. If he does, refer to answer given above else... well the person sucks too much/is a coward and either way, isn't worth me saying anything about.
Hope that makes sense

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