God, the last time I was on msgplus.net was in July last year.

So on Saturday morning my best mate committed suicide via sleeping pill overdose. When I say he's my best friend I mean if friends had soulmates, he was mine. But we still don't know why he killed himself. He recently came out of the closet and seemed really happy about that. But he's gone now so there must have been something wrong.

Anyway, when he was my room mate I found out he kept a journal on his computer.

Would it be in bad taste to take anything off the computer to look for clues? I've heard arguments for both sides but I still don't know what to do? Some say I have a right to know and others say it's an invasion of privacy.

Should someone look? Most definitely. But not you. Leave it to the proper authorities

Yes, look for clues but remember to tell the police etc if you find anything sinister.

It might be best to copy\clone his drive that way his computer is still free for other people and you don't have to investigate in a hurry.

For all you know he could have written you a note to find.
If you were soul mates then he would have known his computer would be the first place you would look.

There is no harm in just looking.

I'm really sorry for your loss. That's one of the most terrible things that could happen.

I don't think you should go through it. What you may find may not be easy to read, may not be what you want to read, and may not help you at all. While it must be incredibly hard not to know or understand, I don't think this will do you, or anyone, any good. You have enough on your mind already, take care of yourself.

My condolences, I'm sure going through this sucks incredibly.

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Originally posted by linx05
Some say I have a right to know and others say it's an invasion of privacy.

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Originally posted by Lou
I don't think you should go through it. What you may find may not be easy to read, may not be what you want to read, and may not help you at all. While it must be incredibly hard not to know or understand, I don't think this will do you, or anyone, any good. You have enough on your mind already, take care of yourself.

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I have to agree with Lou and Meetc here.

I can't even begin to pretend to understand how you're feeling. But i know how tough it might be for someone who doesn't have closure over why he did what he did.

In my opinion, you shouldn't go through his computer, or any other personal source of written thoughts (diary?). I would like to think if i were in the same position i'd respect his decision to not tell me, but still honor him in my own ways.

however, nothing is stopping you from doing what you'd like (and chances are you have a preferred option, even if the difference is minor) And ultimately the choice is yours, so long as you can stomach what you may find.

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Originally posted by SonicSam
go for it, and fuck everyone else

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Would it be in bad taste to take anything off the computer to look for clues? I've heard arguments for both sides but I still don't know what to do? Some say I have a right to know and others say it's an invasion of privacy.

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I think you shouldn't ask a ridiculous question like that on internet community sites. Needless to add; especially not on one completely unrelated to emotional concerns.

The fact that you would create a post and a poll regarding a dramatic situation like this is only a testimony of your own wounds, you need to seek help. Professional guidance as well as emotional support from your family and friends, in real life..

Despite the fact that I think this post is a twisted (whether the situation is completely truthful or not) method to gain sympathy from random strangers on the web, I'll add the following.

I've experienced a few suicides myself, from both a professional and personal perspective. I've been on the brink myself a few times, sometimes through long term depression and other times I went from feeling well to near suicidal almost completely "random."
I know one thing for a fact. A suicide can never be derived from a person's circumstances. A suicide comes from several mental illnesses, most of which are not even recognized by symptoms, some of them have no "on paper" known therapy or medication. A lot of people who committed suicide have had this thought or idea inside their heads on a subconscious level, but it's also for a person to get this idea in their head completely random in a form of a Psychosis. This can happen to anyone, just like a heart attack hits some people who did not seem to deserve it.

If from my post you only choose to read one section, read this: Shut down your computer, get professional guidance and find comfort with family and friends, don't dwell on the "reason" (there is no complete reason, ever) and above all, don't feel like there's anything you could've done, because even if you could, you would've only temporarily postponed it.

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Despite the fact that I think this post is nothing but a sick and twisted (whether the situation is completely truthful or not) method to gain sympathy from random strangers on the web, I'll add the following.

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Originally posted by Arcticwolfx
A suicide can never be derived from a person's circumstances.

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@ linx05:

First of all my condolances...

Now, it's no so much about invasion of privacy, but more to do with how well you can cope with what you may find yourself I think, and then the responsebility that comes with it. Are you ready to tell everybody what you will find? Can you cope with that? Thus also remember that it is not just you who is having questions, so are all the other friends and family.

As such, I don't think that you should be looking into it on your own! As suggested by meEtc and others, seek professional guidance instead and ask those people your question and explain the situation, so that they can also guide you and give you proper advice on what to do and how to cope with everything.

Asking such a question here is not the right place to do imo...

As for privacy invasion, that has a lot to do with respect. And we all know that even if somebody is dead, you could still show respect to that person. Or put in another way: yes (and Discrate, this is in response to what you said earlier), you could still invade someone's privacy even if that person is dead!!

On the other hand, if it was indeed your soul mate, you would know best if he would mind you to read his journal. This said, friends are exetremly important, but so is family. Don't leave out the family, they too have a big (maybe even bigger) saying in all of this and the right to know 'why' as much as you do (although the later will, as ArcticWolfx said, probably never be answered fully). So, that's a reason more to seek professional help/guidance into this matter, so that you can all find an answer together.

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sidenote @Discrate:

Although I don't fully agree with everything ArcticWolfx said, everybody is entitled to their own opinion. And seeing your first sentence in your (edit: previous) last post I don't think you fully understood why ArcticWolfx has written what she wrote. And as a last thing: some new members have gained much more respect and credibility than some older members here will ever have!!...

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Originally posted by Discrate
"OMG, ATTENTION SEEKER, YOUR JUST HERE TO SEEK ATTENTION ARENT YOU ATTENTION SEEKER? YOU SICK AND TWISTED PERSON"

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Spoiler:

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Originally posted by nimicitor
For all you know he could have written you a note to find.
If you were soul mates then he would have known his computer would be the first place you would look.

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Originally posted by MeEtc
Should someone look? Most definitely.

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Originally posted by Lou
What you may find may not be easy to read, may not be what you want to read, and may not help you at all. While it must be incredibly hard not to know or understand, I don't think this will do you, or anyone, any good. You have enough on your mind already, take care of yourself.

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Originally posted by SonicSam
What? The person is dead, I'm sure linx05 knows very well it won't be a journal full of flowers and blissful fields of happiness. He's asking us what we think about it, even the topic itself shows that he is intent on reading the journal.

Going through life is tough, and just because reading the journal "won't do any good" doesn't mean he shouldn't, and it certainly doesn't mean it should brushed off and ignored.

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Originally posted by Discrate
You're his best mate, so it's not like it would be inappropriate.

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Originally posted by nimicitor
If he had only just 'came out' how do you know he wasn't being bullied or victimized?
This kind of thing happens all the time and shame wrongly keeps people from speaking out.
Sure, he might have had mental health problems but it sounds like he was at a strange place emotionally and sometimes that can be enough to make people be impulsive.

linx05 has every right to find out what happened to his friend, you cannot suddenly forget things like this and it will only become 'another regret' in later life if he doesn't pursue it. I, for one hope he finds answers so he can mourn in peace.

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Originally posted by CookieRevised
Now, it's no so much about invasion of privacy, but more to do with how well you can cope with what you may find yourself I think, and then the responsebility that comes with it. Are you ready to tell everybody what you will find? Can you cope with that? Thus also remember that it is not just you who is having questions, so are all the other friends and family.

As such, I don't think that you should be looking into it on your own! As suggested by meEtc and others, seek professional guidance instead and ask those people your question and explain the situation, so that they can also guide you and give you proper advice on what to do and how to cope with everything.

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Originally posted by CookieRevised
On the other hand, if it was indeed your soul mate, you would know best if he would mind you to read his journal. This said, friends are exetremly important, but so is family. Don't leave out the family, they too have a big (maybe even bigger) saying in all of this and the right to know 'why' as much as you do (although the later will, as ArcticWolfx said, probably never be answered fully). So, that's a reason more to seek professional help/guidance into this matter, so that you can all find an answer together.

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