i recently noticed that when someone adds my E-mail i don't get a notification or anything to accept or reject their request . i mean that when someone adds me ,nothing happens; and the only way for me to know that this person added  my email is when they tell "why didn't you accept me?" or " i added your email "

i seriously hate this .. please i neeed your help

In the new Messenger it's in the yellow bar at the top. You should see you have X new invites..

Click on that link, and you should see who has added you to messenger.

i know and  i can't see any yellow bars ..thats way i'm asking

Many people have reported this. And some little birds are telling us that this is now how things are done. Aka, you wont see the "x has invited you" infobar or dialog anymore. Some people assume this is because of privacy issues (eg: so you wont get 234567865432 dialogs popping up when a spammer adds you). I can't confirm nor deny if this is correct or not though.

However, you should still be able to view your invitations on your Windows Live Profile:
http://profile.live.com/invites

thank you