Hello dlema86,
For your first question, is the icon I point out what you are looking for?
As for your second question, please do this:
- (in main Messenger window) click on the "Plus!" icon under your display name/personal message, and click "Perferences"
- In Messenger Plus! Live Preferences, select "Conversations" tab
- Select "Tabbed Chats" tab on the left
- Uncheck "Group all my chats in a single tabbed window"
- Click OK
You'll need to close/repon the conversation windows for the setting to take effect.
Hope that helps