It depends. What application is your friend using on the BlackBerry smartphone?
If your friend using the WLM Mobile webpage, this is a limitation of the page itself. The page does not automatically refresh. Your friend needs to manually refresh the page in order to see changes.
I would recommend that your friend try out an actual application instead of the WLM Mobile page. Personally, I have used VeriChat in the past, and am currently using JiveTalk.
VeriChat is no longer being developed, nor is it available on the developer's webpage. The program has problems with message delay too, and some other issues.
JiveTalk, on the other hand, is rather new and under active development. It has a 30 day trial, and is available at
http://www.beejive.com/
Woot! 900 posts!