You can try unninstalling Windows Live Essentials, and installing the latest "wave 3" version.
Windows Live Messenger 2009 still runs perfectly fine in Windows XP, Vista and 7 without any compatibility settings, the forced update is from a Messenger 2009 version to a newer Messenger 2009. See
Mnjul's reply to Looks like Microsoft has now forced upgrade for WLM 2009
You can download the newer Messenger 2009 version from here, if you prefer:
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