Shoutbox

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Originally posted by CNN (Comedy News Network)
Today, all major recording companies announced a new piracy curcumvention method. The new method is widely believed to be unbreakable. From today, consumers who buy an album will not recieve a compact disc. Instead, they will recieve a ticket. On purchase the ticked will be embedded with the buyers biometric signature. To *cough* enjoy *cough* their media, the owner must report to a playback booth. They will present their ticket. The ticket must first be confirmed to be theirs, via the biometric signature, taking only 90 minutes. The customer will then pay a $42 dollar levy. Once the legitimacy of the currency is confirmed, the customer will be admitted into the booth, within which playback will commence, but will be split into 10 second, out of order bursts, to prevent capturing. Once undergoing treatment with an EMF generator, the customer will be allowed to leave.

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