I agree fully with Tasha...
Try using different word, not repeating things like:
quote:
Originally posted by 00123
she hoped she was asleep, she wished with all her energy that she was asleep, but she knew that this wasn’t a dream.
quote:
Originally posted by Tasha
She knew that getting into a stupid relationship at her age was stupid in the first place,
Becca's name repeats quite a bit too...
I think its a bit weird story for a 13 year old
, amateurish, but fairly good short story...
In a few years, buy some of Iris Johansen books... they involve murder and that sort of things you wrote about... but seriously, wait a few years
, they involve some 15+ topics...