RE: Live messenger
If you cannot trust Microsoft with your information then I think you have problems. If you are really that paranoid then I suggest you don't use the likes of Windows/Microsoft Update because it will scan your computer too, you never know what it might look at while it looks for patches to help keep your computer secure. That is just rediculous IMO.
If it is a trusted domain that is scanning your computer then you shouldn't worry about it IMHO. If however it was some random IP address then you might have problems. Just relax, Microsoft obviously needs to scan the ports for some reason or else it wouldn't do it (well I hope at least). And even if it was excessive at the moment, they might be planning a use for it in the future that you are unaware of.
If you are really that worried then you can always ask why exactly they use it from the developers themselves. I'm sorry if I seem patronising but with the way you sound it was over the top (to the point where I wouldn't like to put anything dangerous in your hands while im around).
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