RE: verrryy slooow
Go to tools > options > privacy and rightclick on the name in the blocklist, if delete isn't greyed out you can delete that contact (it means they deleted you).
If you got Plus! installed you can also make use of the Contact List Clean-Up (in main screen: Plus > Contact List Clean-Up).
Any other cleaner you might find isn't working anymore since Windows Live Messenger caches your contactlist.
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