Shoutbox

Well my mum and dad are always arguing at night about things and there always picking at each other.
My mum thinks that dad treats her like a piece of shite
My dad thinks that everyone is pulling pulling him down to make him leave.
I am really worried because I dont know what to do and I dont think they can take much of it so they might divorce each other.

I have tried talking to dad and he just blew his top and said stuff like:
"He can't take much more"
"He will divorce her"
"he wants a life"


I can also admit that I was reduced to tears the way he talked

And I am not attention seeking or wanting sympathy I am really upset and dot know what to do!

Hmm. I think you should just let them do what they feel is necessary. If they're having troubles, maybe it's best if they split for a while. The closer you are to someone, the more chances you have to make them mad - hence time apart might be good. I'm no therapist or anything, but that's just what I'm thinking.

As for you... be strong. Don't deny any of your feelings, no matter how bad any of them might seem. Talk to someone you trust, and find comfort.

Okidokie, first off, its good to remember it's not your fault. (before you even go down that road)

Secondly, try talking to someone 'outside the box' such as a friend or someone like a teacher; they can offer some advice on the situation.

If you can't think of anyone who can help, try a help/advice organisation. Such as Childline these are aided by volunteers who can always help you.

Personally speaking, I have been through the same with lots of family and domestic issues - mainly resulting in violence; so there is a lot of people who know what you're going through.

In the event of an argument that you don't want to listen to, try putting music on (mp3 player etc) and trying to drown out the arguing. Or even go for a walk etc

(ill post more advice later - cos im in college and just got a 'stop typing' look from my teacher )

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Originally posted by mwe99
(ill post more advice later - cos im in college and just got a 'stop typing' look from my teacher (Smilie))

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I do i play on my phone or something but it still dribbles through

Maybe you should try talking to them, explain you don't want them to fight. Hopefully that will make them realize they shouldn't do it.

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Originally posted by Rodney
Maybe you should try talking to them, explain you don't want them to fight. Hopefully that will make them realize they shouldn't do it.

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Tried that didnt work my dad just blew his top

Try talking to a professional, at school they can recommend you one.

Honestly, talking to them directly might not solve a thing. Try getting a family therapist, as they ussually help with the turn based talking and, that way, you can all voice your feelings without so many troubles.

Remember that it's not your job to solve their problems. I know it's sucky because you suffer the consequences, but it's their problem and they have to solve it.

All you can do is be open to them and tell them your worries and let them know how they make you feel. Other than that, as suggested before, try to find someone closer to home than a forum to talk to, possibly a professional if you're really having problems with this, or if your parents might split up at one point.

What I personally did as my parents had a go at each other verbally, was go for a walk if it's not too late or make sure I couldn't hear them.  It's not a good idea to interfere with arguing people, so if you try to talk to them, make sure you do so at a "neutral" time when they're calm and not fighting.

Lastly, don't forget that it's likely they don't like fighting as well and already feel pretty bad by it all too. They're not doing this to hurt you.

whilst they are argueing calmly go up to them and say look at yourselves your acting liek babies and getting upset over everything. The  just talk things through with them calmly

I know exactly what you're going through, my parents divorced when i was 6 so i was still very young and didnt really understand untill i was older. Looking back i realise there was nothing i could of done, the best thing you do is tell them how much is upsets YOU and how its affecting YOUR life, not theres. Once they realise its not just the two of them involved, they will start listening. My parents splitting up upset me alot and i miss my dad because i never really see him, but i know it was the best thing to do.

Sit them both down and explain, if they dont listen, go and stay with a friend/family member and tell them gently that you wont put up with it.

Hope you work it out