Hard Working Tips - Printable Version
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Hard Working Tips by Shezi on 04-24-2005 at 02:21 PM
Hard Working Tips
1.
Never walk down the hall without a document in your hands.
People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings.
People with nothing in their hands look like they're heading for the cafeteria. People with a newspaper in their hand look like they're heading for the toilet.
Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do.
2.
Use computers to look busy.
Any time you use a computer, it looks like "work" to the casual observer. You can send and receive personal e-mail, calculate your finances and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work.
When you get caught by your boss -and you *will* get caught - your best defense is to claim you're teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable training expenses.
3.
Messy desk.
Build huge piles of documents around your workspace.
To the observer, last year's work looks the same as today's work; it's volume that counts.
Pile them high and wide. If you know somebody is coming to your cubicle, bury the document you'll need halfway down in an existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives.
4.
Voice Mail.
Never answer your phone if you have voice mail. People don't call you just because they want to give you something for nothing ? they call because they want YOU to do work for THEM. That's no way to live.
If your voice mailbox has a limit on the number of messages it can hold, make sure you reach that limit frequently. One way to do that is to never erase any incoming messages. If that takes too long, send yourself a few messages. Your callers will hear a recorded message that says, "Sorry, this mailbox is full" - a sure sign that you are a hardworking employee in high demand.
5.
Looking Impatient and Annoyed.
One should also always try to look impatient and annoyed to give your bosses the impression that you are always busy.
6.
Appear to Work Late.
Always leave the office late, especially when the boss is still around. You could read magazines and storybooks that you always wanted to read, but have no time until late before leaving.
7.
Creative Sighing for Effect.
Sigh loudly when there are many people around, giving the impression that you are very hard pressed.
8.
Stacking Strategy.
It is not enough to pile lots of documents on the table. Put lots of books on the floor etc... You can always borrow from library. Thick computer manuals are the best.
9.
Build Vocabulary.
Read up on some computer magazines and pick out all the jargon and new products.
Use it freely when in conversation with bosses. Remember: They don't have to understand what you say, but you sure sound impressive.
10.MOST IMPORTANTLY: DON'T forward this to your boss by mistake!!!
RE: Hard Working Tips by Pr0xY on 04-24-2005 at 03:41 PM
ROFL... this is crazy.... so crazy it might actually work... 
Name what movie thats from...
RE: Hard Working Tips by ayjay on 04-24-2005 at 04:00 PM
some of them are a bit stupid though 
RE: Hard Working Tips by Exca on 04-24-2005 at 04:07 PM
Haha that's a funny one
RE: Hard Working Tips by .Roy on 04-24-2005 at 04:26 PM
Pretty funny. I'll use it when im like 8 years older and i have a job 
.
Where did you get this I wonder too.
RE: Hard Working Tips by Shezi on 04-24-2005 at 04:36 PM
quote:i got this in e-mail.. from my boss..
Originally posted by Hobbes
Where did you get this I wonder too.
(crossed fingers..)RE: Hard Working Tips by TylerG on 04-25-2005 at 11:32 PM
Hope he isn't on to you
RE: Hard Working Tips by Rik on 04-26-2005 at 06:12 PM
cool tips
are you using these tips?
RE: Hard Working Tips by Shezi on 04-26-2005 at 08:11 PM
quote:offcourse i am, but only at that time when my boss with me and i have to impess him.. as i m a social worker (community library superviser
Originally posted by Cool Rik
cool tips
are you using these tips?
), not a paid one.... but when i get my paid job i ll use all of them and fool my foolish boss..