how do you go abour getting a site into the top list in google or any other engines, do you have to pay them? i know ou can submit links but ive tried that before and it isnt that effective

Get linked to by many sites indexed by Google e.g. forums, blogs, stuff like that.

i just added it to google and wrote them and email saying i would really appreciate it and they did it its not at the top of the list but about 4 down

Googlebombing isn't illegal per se, but it is immoral. Pushing down relevant sites just to raise your own's profile is bad practice, even if your site is just as relevant. If, however, you get linked to independently, and by high-profile sites, your ranking will increase in an honest manner.

NB: Relevance in relation to a particular search phrase.

It's automatic, right? I'm in a webmasters forum and people always talk about this.

An important thing is that you update your site often, and have lots of text content.

Link to others using text links (buttons do not help!).

Give people a reason to come back to your site!

Don't use link farming sites.

Don't rely on PR (PageRank)!

Always check what people used to get to you (search strings).

Try to get a sitemap generator and submit it to Google once a week (at least, but don't spam them).

Using things such as "googlebombing" is not the way to go.

Good luck!

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Originally posted by ~Fusion~
I agree,
i was just saying that that was one of the ways certain people use to get there site high up on google

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