I suppose some degree of commerce would grind to a halt if telephone solicitors weren't able to call people at home during dinner hour. But that doesn't make it any more pleasant.

Now Steve Rubenstein, a writer for the San Francisco Chronicle, has proposed "Three Little Words" based on his brief experience in a telemarketing operation that would stop the nuisance for all time.

The three little words are "Hold On, Please."

Saying this while putting down your phone and walking off instead of hanging up immediately would make each telemarketing call so time-consuming that boiler rooms would grind to a halt. When you eventually hear the phone company's beep-beep-beep tone, you know it's time to go back and hang up your handset, which has efficiently completed its task. This might be one of those articles you'll want to e-mail to your friends. Three little words that eliminate telephone soliciting.

Yep, the "Hold On, Please" concept has been around and in light practice for over a decade now, very effective indeed. However, there are more entertaining methods, especially if you have a lot of time on your hands like myself.

Try and turn the telemarketer's call around on them -- get them into a discussion about how crappy it is to be a telemarketer. This one is infact the most easiest to accomplish. You might think the subject in the foreground of a telemarketer's mind is the sale and success of their product... in fact they are really dwelling on how much their life sucks and how this job sucks and how you are their last hope in putting food on their table. The last 1000 people they called simply sat there quietly or hung up, be different and they will listen. 

Other similar ideas include trying to sell a product back to the telemarketer. If you're a Jehovah's Witness or have started your own religion, you know what you must do. Telemarketers are lonely people, mostly single white males or ethnic females. If you're into breaking hearts then this is like shooting fish in a barrel... Tell them how sexy their voice is and get them to drive 100 miles to your address, which doesn't seem to exist.

Don't just stop at the telemarketer... ask to speak to his manager. Wasting his time is as good as wasting the time of 50 telemarketers! They're a little more difficult to trick into staying on the phone, so try keeping the topic product related... inquire about odd things that might seem to remotely effect your decision making process, so they feel like they're doing their job.



GOOD IDEAS:

When you get ads in your phone or utility bill, include them with the payment - let the companies throw them away.

When you get those pre approved letters in the mail for everything from credit cards to 2nd mortgages and junk like that, most of them come with postage paid return envelopes, right? Well, why not get rid of some of your other junk mail and put it in these cool little envelopes! The good part is they pay the postage, the more you enclose the more they pay!

Send an ad for your local chimney cleaner to American Express. Send the pizza coupon to Citibank.

If you didn't get anything else that day then just send them their application back! If you want to remain anonymous, just make sure your name isn't on anything you send them. You can send it back empty if you want to just to keep them guessing!

Eventually, the banks and credit card companies will begin getting their junk back in the mail. Let's let them know what it's like to get junk mail, and the best of it is that they're paying for it!
Twice!

Let's help keep our postal service busy since they say e-mail is cutting into their business, and that's why they need to increase postage again!

Send this to a friend or two or three...or fifty....


I thought it was funny... It would keep the P.O. busy!

Kindly stolen from Jesper and Raccoon

* Johnny_Mac can't be assed to read it.

You forgot the classic one from seinfeld


*Person rings up* Hi
*jerry* Hi
*person* are you interested in..........
*jerry butts in* Yes, but how about you give me your home phone number so I can ring you up


Then hung up

good idea!!!!!

[to muss] Well, thats shorter than what i posted

quote:

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When you get those pre approved letters in the mail for everything from credit cards to 2nd mortgages and junk like that, most of them come with postage paid return envelopes, right? Well, why not get rid of some of your other junk mail and put it in these cool little envelopes! The good part is they pay the postage, the more you enclose the more they pay!

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I never bother picking up the phone.....

I only answer recognized numbers on my cellphone.

We have caller ID, so sometimes I just ignore unknown numbers, but if it keeps ringing and annoying me, I'll pick up the phone and slam it back down...

These ideas are Evil

I actually read all of it

I really liked the idea of returning their own junk in their prepaid envelopes, never ocurred to me before

hmmmm... why not do the same to the spammers in these forums (return their own ing threads to their mail)??

They're all good ideas
might try them out

quote:

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Originally posted by D:Frag
hmmmm... why not do the same to the spammers in these forums (return their own ing threads to their mail)??

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yes fluffy_lobster, thats a nice script for a phonecall. I will implement it

and D:Frag: good idea