Shoutbox

God, the last time I was on msgplus.net was in July last year.

So on Saturday morning my best mate committed suicide via sleeping pill overdose. When I say he's my best friend I mean if friends had soulmates, he was mine. But we still don't know why he killed himself. He recently came out of the closet and seemed really happy about that. But he's gone now so there must have been something wrong.

Anyway, when he was my room mate I found out he kept a journal on his computer.

Would it be in bad taste to take anything off the computer to look for clues? I've heard arguments for both sides but I still don't know what to do? Some say I have a right to know and others say it's an invasion of privacy.

Should someone look? Most definitely. But not you. Leave it to the proper authorities

Yes, look for clues but remember to tell the police etc if you find anything sinister.

It might be best to copy\clone his drive that way his computer is still free for other people and you don't have to investigate in a hurry.

For all you know he could have written you a note to find.
If you were soul mates then he would have known his computer would be the first place you would look.

There is no harm in just looking.

I'm really sorry for your loss. That's one of the most terrible things that could happen.

I don't think you should go through it. What you may find may not be easy to read, may not be what you want to read, and may not help you at all. While it must be incredibly hard not to know or understand, I don't think this will do you, or anyone, any good. You have enough on your mind already, take care of yourself.

My condolences, I'm sure going through this sucks incredibly.

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Originally posted by linx05
Some say I have a right to know and others say it's an invasion of privacy.

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I believe it is a little more complex than that, my stand on the issue is it's something you shouldn't have to know, but there's also no reason you shouldn't.

Everyone who believes it's an invasion of privacy is an idiot, and has obviously never lost anyone close to them. You want to find out what's going on? Go ahead, as long as you're not breaking any laws, screw anyone who passes judgement on you so you can get a little closure or information.

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Originally posted by Lou
I don't think you should go through it. What you may find may not be easy to read, may not be what you want to read, and may not help you at all. While it must be incredibly hard not to know or understand, I don't think this will do you, or anyone, any good. You have enough on your mind already, take care of yourself.

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What? The person is dead, I'm sure linx05 knows very well it won't be a journal full of flowers and blissful fields of happiness. He's asking us what we think about it, even the topic itself shows that he is intent on reading the journal.

Going through life is tough, and just because reading the journal "won't do any good" doesn't mean he shouldn't, and it certainly doesn't mean it should brushed off and ignored.

tl;dr: If you want to do it linx05, go for it, and fuck everyone who judges you for it.

I have to agree with Lou and Meetc here.

I can't even begin to pretend to understand how you're feeling. But i know how tough it might be for someone who doesn't have closure over why he did what he did.

In my opinion, you shouldn't go through his computer, or any other personal source of written thoughts (diary?). I would like to think if i were in the same position i'd respect his decision to not tell me, but still honor him in my own ways.

however, nothing is stopping you from doing what you'd like (and chances are you have a preferred option, even if the difference is minor) And ultimately the choice is yours, so long as you can stomach what you may find.

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Originally posted by SonicSam
go for it, and fuck everyone else

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Pretty much sums up the latter part of my post.

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Would it be in bad taste to take anything off the computer to look for clues? I've heard arguments for both sides but I still don't know what to do? Some say I have a right to know and others say it's an invasion of privacy.

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No. You're his best mate, so it's not like it would be inappropriate. Plus he is dead, so what privacy is there to invade? I certainly would do it.

If you want to find out, read it, it's the only way.

I think you shouldn't ask a ridiculous question like that on internet community sites. Needless to add; especially not on one completely unrelated to emotional concerns.

The fact that you would create a post and a poll regarding a dramatic situation like this is only a testimony of your own wounds, you need to seek help. Professional guidance as well as emotional support from your family and friends, in real life..

Despite the fact that I think this post is a twisted (whether the situation is completely truthful or not) method to gain sympathy from random strangers on the web, I'll add the following.

I've experienced a few suicides myself, from both a professional and personal perspective. I've been on the brink myself a few times, sometimes through long term depression and other times I went from feeling well to near suicidal almost completely "random."
I know one thing for a fact. A suicide can never be derived from a person's circumstances. A suicide comes from several mental illnesses, most of which are not even recognized by symptoms, some of them have no "on paper" known therapy or medication. A lot of people who committed suicide have had this thought or idea inside their heads on a subconscious level, but it's also for a person to get this idea in their head completely random in a form of a Psychosis. This can happen to anyone, just like a heart attack hits some people who did not seem to deserve it.

If from my post you only choose to read one section, read this: Shut down your computer, get professional guidance and find comfort with family and friends, don't dwell on the "reason" (there is no complete reason, ever) and above all, don't feel like there's anything you could've done, because even if you could, you would've only temporarily postponed it.

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Despite the fact that I think this post is nothing but a sick and twisted (whether the situation is completely truthful or not) method to gain sympathy from random strangers on the web, I'll add the following.

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Yet you then go on a rant about how you have thought about suicide in the past That is trying to get sympathy from random strangers too, is it not?

Nice hypocrisy.

Unlike you, linx is actually an old respected member who actually carries a level of credibility.

Your arrogant, inappropriate response is just ridiculous.

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Originally posted by Arcticwolfx
A suicide can never be derived from a person's circumstances.

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Wrong. If he had only just 'came out' how do you know he wasn't being bullied or victimized?
This kind of thing happens all the time and shame wrongly keeps people from speaking out.
Sure, he might have had mental health problems but it sounds like he was at a strange place emotionally and sometimes that can be enough to make people be impulsive.

linx05 has every right to find out what happened to his friend, you cannot suddenly forget things like this and it will only become 'another regret' in later life if he doesn't pursue it. I, for one hope he finds answers so he can mourn in peace.