Dude, Where's My Car?
Jesse: Who's Johnny Potsmoker?
Chester: Oh ,that's my alter ego.
Jesse: Wait, I thought Johnny Potsmoker was MY alter ego.
Chester: No. Yours is Smokey McPot.
Jesse: Oh yeah.
------
Chinese Food Intercom: And then?
Jesse: No "and then"!
Chinese Food Intercom: And then!
You must see that part ... the intercom keeps saying and then, so funny
Jesse: I refuse to play your Chinese food mind games!
------
[Jeese and Chester come across an ostrich]
Jesse: Dude, it's a llama!
------
[Chester refuses to leave a strip club]
Jesse: Dude, this is an *emergency*!
Chester: So is this. It's a break-dancing stripper emergency!
------
[As Super Hot Giant Alien passes overhead, a Father and Son see up her skirt]
Birthday Son: I want to go on that ride, Daddy.
Birthday Father: Me, too, Son. Me, too.
------
Chester: Dude, you just touched Christie Boner's hoo-hoo.
Jesse: Shibby!
Chester: Low five.
------
[Jesse and Chester have tattoos on their backs that say "dude" and "sweet."]
Jesse: Dude! You got a tattoo!
Chester: So do you, dude! Dude, what does my tattoo say?
Jesse: "Sweet!" What about mine?
Chester: "Dude!" What does mine say?
Jesse: "Sweet!" What about mine?
Chester: "Dude!" What does mine say?
Jesse: "Sweet!" What about mine?
Chester: "Dude!" What does mine say?
Jesse: "Sweet!" What about mine?
Chester: "Dude!" What does mine say?
Jesse: "Sweet!" What about mine?
Chester: "Dude!" What does mine say?
Jesse: "Sweet!" What about mine?
[later]
Chester: [angry] "Dude!" What does mine say?
Jesse: [screaming] "Sweet!"
------
Another so funny:
Jesse: Wait a second, let's recap. Last night, we lost my car, we accepted stolen money from a transsexual stripper, and now some space nerds want us to find something we can't pronounce. I hate to say it, Chester, but maybe we need to cut back on the shibbying.
[Chester slaps him]
Jesse: Thanks, dude.
------
Chester: How wasted were we last night?
Jesse: Well, I touched Christy Boner's hoo-hoo, were on the hook for two hundred thousand dollars to a transsexual stripper, and my car's gone. I'd say we were pretty wasted.
------
Chester: Is that a barn?
Jesse: Is it red?
Chester: No.
Jesse: Then it isn't a barn!
------
Jumpsuit Chick #1: If you are Jesse and Chester, maybe we will give you erotic pleasure.
Jesse: That's us!
Chester: Right here!
------
[first lines]
Jesse: What's up?
Chester: Animal Planet!
Jesse: Man, I just had the craziest dream.
Chester: About what?
Jesse: I don't remember
[chuckles]
------
Alien Nordic Dude #1: Could you please tell us where we may find the continuum transfuctioner?
Chinese Foooood Lady: And then?
Alien Nordic Dude #1: And then we may go and get it?
Chinese Foooood Lady: And then?
[Pause]
Alien Nordic Dude #2: Can I get an order of shrimp fried rice?
------
Zarnoff: [introducing the Zoltan cult] My name is Zarnoff. This is Zabu, Zellnor, Zelbor, Zelmina, and, uh, Jeff.
Jeff: Hey.
Sorry for the big post .. couldnt resist ... i just love that movie
quote:
Originally posted by MessEnGer
If I'm not back in five minutes... wait longer!
Yeahh!! i forgot ... thats funny
/ 
