What happened to the Messenger Plus! forums on msghelp.net?
Shoutbox » MsgHelp Archive » General » General Chit Chat » A story I'm working on. :D

Poll: so, good or bad?
yeah, it was hot! She's the next Anais Nin
no, it majorly blew; she should never write again as long as we have Slyvia Plath
[Show Results | Edit Poll]
A story I'm working on. :D
Author: Message:
crashwire
New Member
*

Avatar

Posts: 1
Reputation: 1
Joined: Feb 2006
O.P. A story I'm working on. :D
Just working one my third novel now (this being an excerpt from chapter 3), so....comments, pwease (A)

                                                                                     ::Cherry

“Breathe, darlin’, there’s nothing left to do.”, says the man, lowering his hat despite his lovely features, falcon eyes sparkling green with sea foam, staring upon the ground in the most reserved of fashions. The trees sway in the wind by violent gusts, the rain beating against their skin, howling cries of estrangement, the loudest sound.   “Our world is falling, leaving tranquility of our hands, or at least the state of comfortable suffocation. I made this world for you, pined for you, and now….. I leave it upon your lips, upon your eyes, the beautiful complexions, the colors of all my labors, of all my work over the years, burning inside your mind like amber fires seizing the skies. This was all for you, only for you…. It always has been.”

She can’t help but breathe heavily, her breath falling faint upon perched lips, her body drenched in sweat, she wakes, but she cannot stand being awake, she wanted more, she needed more. More of the boy, more of the man, more of the illusion, more of the rain, more of the beach,  more of the sea foam eyes, more of everything, anything, she just needed more. This had not been the first time she dreamt of him, it comes regularly now, as with these long nights and thoughts of the life growing inside of her. She doesn’t know why, but she craves him now, his presence, his consuming light, she wanted something besides the life she had. Yes, she has her husband and he loves her dearly, as she will always love him, but she loves the man, the dark marauder lingering in her dreams, in a way she could love no other. Her husband, she doesn’t deserve him, she thinks as she looks down at her wedding ring, the ode of her faithfulness to him. Why, why had he been haunting her so and even stranger, why she had wanted him there. 



“Remember the waltz”, he grabs her hands with a gentle smile, and places them around his neck, as his arms go around her waist. “ Remember that waltz, darling, at the Walden’s, when I first met you, wearing that sunflower dress, you were perfect….”

This post was edited on 02-24-2006 at 07:53 PM by crashwire.
02-24-2006 07:49 PM
Profile E-Mail PM Find Quote Report
« Next Oldest Return to Top Next Newest »


Threaded Mode | Linear Mode
View a Printable Version
Send this Thread to a Friend
Subscribe | Add to Favorites
Rate This Thread:

Forum Jump:

Forum Rules:
You cannot post new threads
You cannot post replies
You cannot post attachments
You can edit your posts
HTML is Off
myCode is On
Smilies are On
[img] Code is On