Shoutbox

Hello,
I inspire myself from this post by Chrono, as a way to deliver myself from a heavy problem about moderation of a forum (to give some precisions, I am currently moderating a French speaking medical forum. I give this precision because if I don't give it, I may see from there that questions like "Are you talking about the moderating team of the MPlus! community forum ?" will arising. So I reply right from the beginning : no !).
Despite the post written by Chrono is located in the "Forum & Website" section, this topic fits more in the General Chit Chat. No offense Chrono !

To be honest, I am really tired of moderating the medical where I am a moderator. I am so tired and freak out that I need to take antihistamine to get some sleep, otherwise I would never sleep.
I'm not tired of the forum topic. Health is a such wonderful subject, involving everything I love : languages and transcultural, Internet, mental health (there is even a discipline called ethnopsychiatry, but I won't risk myself to give a lecture about it). It's such a endless field, not only about medical technic, but moreover about translating (for example, I started to write a translation analysis about translating into French the expression "Online Patient Helper", and I was analyzing what is the difference between a moderator and an Online Patient Helper). It's really so fascinating trying to understand the relationship between health and languages, and broadly the human being.
I'm tired of this feeling of being ill-treated by the administration and moderation staff. Since the beginning, I feel treated worse than a dog (even a dog won't be treated like that). At the beginning, it was only one of the administrator, but in the meantime, she has left (she is still a member of the staff, but she doesn't post any more as a staff member). Now, it's much more insidious than that : I have the bad feeling that I say one word, I make one thing, I am automatically disqualified and brought in front of a penal Court. I receive no praise, no kind word for my work, I receive only or no answer, or I receive only criticism, which is neither always justified nor purpose any solution to solve the arisen problems.
If someone else in the team makes a mistake, the other person will never be treated worse than a dog, or nobody will say nothing. For all these reasons I exposed, I feel treated unfairly and like I am walked all over me.

I feel that matters are getting worse since I have been diagnosed for ADHD since December 2008, it has been confirmed by another specialist in January 2009 and I have started to be treated for this pathology during this period. Another hypothesis to explain the matter is because I am the youngest in the staff. But I have no irrefutable evidences, only some clues (I have started to be involved in this project in February 2005, I was at this time 19 years old).
But whatever the reason, there is no acceptable excuse to be treated worse than a dog.

The worst fact in all this story is that a person in the staff doesn't like someone, this someone will be automatically treated like a dog. The legal responsible of the site permits himself once to insult another member in public.

Making some personal computer settings was a good way to escape a bit from this terribly heavy problem, however, it doesn't solve the pending issue. I have tried the solution not to come for a period, but the problem remained the same, and maybe even worsened.
I have no reason to volunteer in such a project which requests a lot of giving from yourself as a person to correctly manage the section I have been assigned to manage. I don't expect to be always congratulated by everybody, and I study any idea which comes from members or staff to improve what I am doing. But I don't accept being treated like a punching ball by the staff members, and not by anybody else.
I expect to be spoken with respect, even if we disagree each other. I expect from people to be honest in their manners and in their thoughts (for example, not reproach to someone else something we do or we have done without any reproach by anybody else).

Am I asking too much from myself and from the others ? Am I right to feel tired and disgusted with all these troubles, at the point to start damaging my own physical and mental health ?
What did I deserve to be treated like that ?
Is there any solution to start taking the path to solve this problem ?


Sorry guys for these long writing reams, but I am at the point to receive help from other people, and not only by the medical caregivers and my mother....



Thanks in advance for your replies

quote:

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Originally posted by Giulia
Is there any solution to start taking the path to solve this problem ?

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yes, you should start by posting this same message in whatever private forums you have in your community . This is not the kind of problem that should be known by everyone in a community, but you do need to tell the other members of the staff how you feel in order to solve the problem. Either that or leave the forums for your own sake.

quote:

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Originally posted by Giulia
Am I asking too much from myself and from the others ?

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It's sometimes hard to understand for regular members why people take these matters in such a personal way. But it's true that when you've been part of the community/staff for a long time (7 years in my case), you start to feel like this is an online "family" . And you expect it to be a great place where to spend/waste your time, even when you have almost no free time, like me . You should've realized by now, though, that that's just YOUR way to see through things. There may be others who dont really care about the place, they just want a place where to show up once in a while (and that's not a bad thing at all, most members will feel that way).

i think you're expecting too much from them. You said other members of the staff treat you bad. Well, go and ask them if they have a problem with something you've been doing. Asking directly is the easiest way to solve this kind of issues. Oh and btw, you should NEVER take what people say on the internet too seriously. The fact that you are having health problems due to those forums makes me think that you should either quit the community or learn that what they tell you on the internet is just that: words from people that dont really know you and that shouldn't be affecting your'real' life.

quote:

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Originally posted by Giulia
Am I right to feel tired and disgusted with all these troubles, at the point to start damaging my own physical and mental health ?

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As i already said, you shouldnt let something that happened on the internet hurt you. Learn the difference between the real world and the online world. People online are usually more rude, which doesnt necessarily mean they dont like you. Again, go and ask them directly about it.

Hi Chrono,

Thanks for your feedback which is the first step to find a way to solve this huge issue.
I globally agree with the analysis you make, but I have to quibble on points of your overall analysis.

quote:

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Originally posted by Chrono

quote:

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Originally posted by Giulia
Is there any solution to start taking the path to solve this problem ?

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yes, you should start by posting this same message in whatever private forums you have in your community . This is not the kind of problem that should be known by everyone in a community, but you do need to tell the other members of the staff how you feel in order to solve the problem. Either that or leave the forums for your own sake.

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I obviously agree in the theory for this solution.
But in practice, I have to express my own reservations, or in a less harsh word, some concerns about this solution. Actually, I know quite well this community (we have organized real life pic-nics for quite a few years, I have become friend in the real life with some members), and now, there is an important hard core regular members, especially in the two forums which deal with psychiatry (they are two, one is general and the other is specialised on schizophrenia). The staff forum has been stable for years, so I have learnt during these years to know their behaviour and reactions.
It's not like a computer tech help, which many members will post once or twice to ask some help to manage a computer. I don't say that there is not any member like that in the community I moderate, I just say that the number is much less important.
And by the time I interacted with the staff (admins and mods), I had the time to learn about them. So I didn't make my opinion from only one or two messages from them, but on a 1000 messages, even more (I moderate since February 2005, but I am a registered member since 2002-2003).
And the administrator-responsible has become more and more dishonest with the time. Same thing with the other staff members. As I said in my first message in this topic, he permits himself to insult publicly a regular member, whereas it's totally forbidden by French law and penally reprehensible.

Moreover, and to finish with this point, I have already discussed this problem in the Admins/mods forum (invisible for regular members). Not only it has purposed no solution to solve this issue, but moreover, the administrator-legal responsible of this community (I add the « legal responsible » with « administrator », because a person can be an administrator without being legally responsible of the forum, and I judge important to mark the difference) uses my condition (ie. ADHD) to make an hypothesis of diagnosis for psychosis because I asked answer about the forum moderation (the administrator-responsible is a General Practitionner). This hypothesis of diagnosis is completely contrary to the forum rules and to the ethics and deontology about online health, since no diagnosis (which implies hypothesis of diagnosis from a doctor) is allowed on the board (this rule comes from the French Medical Order, I have some hard time to translate the terme « Ordre des Médecins » from French into English. In two words, it's the official professional order which regulate the medicine exercise in France. More informations are available on the official website of the National organ of the French Medical Order the site is unfortunately available in French, there is no foreign language version (it would be super if there were an English version available, even if it represents only a tiny part of the available informations on the site).

quote:

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Originally posted by Chrono

quote:

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Originally posted by Giulia
Am I asking too much from myself and from the others ?

---

It's sometimes hard to understand for regular members why people take these matters in such a personal way. But it's true that when you've been part of the community/staff for a long time (7 years in my case), you start to feel like this is an online "family" . And you expect it to be a great place where to spend/waste your time, even when you have almost no free time, like me . You should've realized by now, though, that that's just YOUR way to see through things. There may be others who dont really care about the place, they just want a place where to show up once in a while (and that's not a bad thing at all, most members will feel that way).

i think you're expecting too much from them. You said other members of the staff treat you bad. Well, go and ask them if they have a problem with something you've been doing. Asking directly is the easiest way to solve this kind of issues. Oh and btw, you should NEVER take what people say on the internet too seriously. The fact that you are having health problems due to those forums makes me think that you should either quit the community or learn that what they tell you on the internet is just that: words from people that dont really know you and that shouldn't be affecting your'real' life.

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As I have told in the first point, this solution has been taken into action (it means I have done it), without any kind of result (see my long analysis of the first point).

The sentiment you are describing in your analysis, I used to feel it. Now, not any more : I can't accept being treated like that, in the contempt of any law and ethic which rules the medical profession (I must make remember that the admin-responsible is a GP (General Practitionner), and provides this board to promote information and advice about health in the whole sens).

Moreover, the problem shall be taken from another part.
In fact, if a regular member were harassing me, I would have informed a staff member and I would let decide what shall do. If it were just a regular member which hated me because of this or that, it wouldn't have affected me so much.
The problem is much more serious than just a nasty person who wants only to bug me because of a trivial aspect of the moderation.
Here, the other staff members are treating me without any respect. The problem is so serious that it violates any law and official regulation. If it weren't me, it will  be someone else (it has been already someone else, other regular members have been treated worse than dogs on this board).
So I can't let things run like that. It's not fair, neither for me nor for anyone else.

quote:

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Originally posted by Chrono

quote:

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Originally posted by Giulia
Am I right to feel tired and disgusted with all these troubles, at the point to start damaging my own physical and mental health ?

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As i already said, you shouldnt let something that happened on the internet hurt you. Learn the difference between the real world and the online world. People online are usually more rude, which doesnt necessarily mean they dont like you. Again, go and ask them directly about it.

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Again, already done it and no solution has been found, the problem has been even worse ! So I have to find other solutions to manage this problem.



Thanks again for your analysis, it makes me move on to find a solution to solve this issue. And sorry again for this terribly long post, but it needs to be carefully analysed if we want to get out from it....

Hi,

First of all, I want to thank Chrono for his analysis, even if I don't agree on all points of the problem.
However, it's the first time since the getting worse of this story that I was able to sleep without any kind of med.
The story gets clearer, and I moved one step forward at the time to solve this issue.

I'd like to give some pieces of news about this story.

I phoned to a French association Forum des droits sur Internet, which spreads about law on the Internet.
They couldn't totally solve my problem, but they confirmed what I think right from the beginning : I have no other solution than a legal action, since I have already done what I could do legally alone.
Now, the legal action is the only solution to advocate and protect my rights.

Since legal matters are recurrent on the forum, I have to be extremely careful if I don't want to be more into troubles.
The association advised me to write a registered letter with recorded delivery, but the only reservation I can make is that I don't want him to have my home address.
I really don't know what he is able to do if he wants to put me into troubles, I have lost any kind of trust toward him since this hypothesis of diagnosis. This hypothesis of diagnosis has been the last straw for me.
I really don't know what he is able to do if he wants to make me problems after an action.
One of the moderator on the psycho's forum has been threaten from an association's president (independent of the forum) to publicize her home address on the Internet.
Since it's a possible issue, I prefer to be extremely careful with this problem. I clearly don't want to risk that he comes to my home to make troubles to myself and my family.
So I have to contact an association to have legal advice about what to do, but that's for sure, I have to provide a legal action for me and other people.

Hello,

quote:

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Originally posted by nimicitor
Why don't you just leave the forum you are having problems with and join a new one?
Or you could create your own and then you get to decide what happens in it.

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The problem is that medicine on the net has specificities (at least, in France), not only on legal points, but also on political matters.
So in this climate, leaving the forum and create my own is too risky, same if I join another.

Especially because I have the project to create an association to advocate patients with mental health issues' rights.
So I have to be extremely careful if I don't want collateral damages from this issue.