Shoutbox

I dont know if you guys read these 3 jokes, but here goes:


Cannibals and Fruits

Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by
cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial. The first step of the trial was to go to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit.

So all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.
The first one came back and said to the king, "I brought ten apples." The king then explained the trial to him. "You have to shove the fruits up your butt without any expression on yourface or you'll be eaten."

The first apple went in... but on the second one he winced out in pain, so he was killed.The second one arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the
king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this should be easy. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8... and on theninth berry he burst out in laughter and was killed.

The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first oneasked, "Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it?" Thesecond one replied, "I couldn't help it, I saw the third guy coming with pineapples."


Car Accident

A woman runs a red light and crashes another car. A man is inside the car that the woman hit. It’s a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt.

After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, “So you’re a man, that’s interesting. I’m a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There’s nothing left, but
fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days.”

Flattered, the man replied, “Oh yes, I agree with you completely!”

“This must be a sign from God!” The woman continued, “And look at this, here’s another miracle. My car is completely demolished, but this bottle of wine didn’t break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.”

Then she hands the bottle to the man, The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks three quarters of the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.

The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back
to the man.

The man asks, “Aren’t you having any?”

The woman replies, “No. I think I’ll just wait for the police to arive…”


Ugly Baby

A woman got on a bus, holding a baby. The bus driver said, "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen." In a huff, the woman slammed her money into the money box and took a seat near the rear of the bus.

The man seated next to her sensed that she was mad and asked her what was wrong. "The bus driver insulted me," she said. The man thought for a second and said, "Why, he's a public servant and shouldn't say things to insult passengers." "You're right," she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my
mind." "That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."



I found all three halarious