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RE: Do you care if people insult you behind your back?
I think it's rather dishonourable to talk crap about people behind their back and then when the person is there, smile and pretend that you like them. My principle is that if you say something bad about someone when they're not there, be willing to say it also in their presence.
As for defending yourself, I don't think you can really defend yourself against people's opinions. If someone wants to think a certain thing about you they will.
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