Shoutbox

code:

---

function OnEvent_Initialize(MessengerStart)
{
}
//This script is created by hebobo, With big testing help from

Rolfi
//Version - 1.1 Final
//Released 22.09.08
//Last Updated 22.09.08
//Feel free to add your own chuck sentence by following the

format as below
//Created for the Messenger Plus!

/*Changelog
0.1 - Script Created
0.2 - Made it functional
0.3 - Fixed most spelling/grammar mistakes
0.4 - Fixed bugs and some more grammar mistakes
0.5 - Fixed "unidentified" error =D (first real bug solved!)
0.6 - First realy good release
0,7 - allmost there, now with: "/chuck" command.
1.00 - FINAL RELEASE:  Now With both "/chuck" and "/norris"

command, with even more sentence about chuck norris
*/

var sArray = new Array();
sArray[0] = "If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five

dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.";
sArray[1] = "There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's

computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.";
sArray[2] = "70% of a human's weight is water. 70% of Chuck

Norris' weight is his dick.";
sArray[3] = "Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he

listens to a song";
sArray[4] = "Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open";
sArray[5] = "Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip";
sArray[6] = "Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of

what he calls everything around you";
sArray[7] = "Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because

he only recognizes the element of surprise";
sArray[8] = "Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird. ";
sArray[9] = "Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People";
sArray[10] = "There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of

animals Chuck Norris allows to live.";
sArray[11] = "Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.";
sArray[12] = "The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.";
sArray[13] = "There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There

is only another fist.";
sArray[14] = "Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.";
sArray[15] = "The leading causes of death in the United States

are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer.";
sArray[16] = "Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in

human skulls.";
sArray[17] = "Chuck Norris is my Homeboy";
sArray[18] = "Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting.... CHUCK NORRIS

GOES KILLING";
sArray[19] = "Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his

steaks.";
sArray[20] = "Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard

that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and

killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific

Ocean.";
sArray[21] = "Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the

world that sometimes corn needs to lie down";
sArray[22] = "The Great Wall of China was originally created to

keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably";
sArray[23] = "Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck

Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous";
sArray[24] = "If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always

says, Two seconds 'til. After you ask, Two seconds 'til what? he

roundhouse kicks you in the face.";
sArray[25] = "The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck

Norris' fist.";
sArray[26] = "CNN was originally created as the .Chuck Norris

Network. to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in

real-time..";
sArray[27] = "Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only

three moves.";
sArray[28] = "Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one

hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his

waitress.";
sArray[29] = "What was going through the minds of all of Chuck

Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.";
sArray[30] = "Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick

wall in a game of tennis.";
sArray[31] = "Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a

Code 45-11.... a suicide.";
sArray[32] = "Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse

kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.";
sArray[33] = "Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he

disembowels them.";
sArray[34] = "Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009. His

state flower will be the Magnolia.";
sArray[35] = "Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed

off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Massacre.";
sArray[36] = "If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win.

Forever.";
sArray[37] = "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Chuck Norris once

and he will roundhouse you in the face.";
sArray[38] = "Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane

with his finger, by yelling, Bang!";
sArray[39] = "Contrary to popular belief, America is not a

democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.";
sArray[40] = "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true

story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he

crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned

karate.";
sArray[41] = "Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are

hung like Chuck Norris.";
sArray[42] = "Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful

than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single

bound... yes, these are some of Chuck Norris's warm-up

exercises.";
sArray[43] = "In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But

then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.";
sArray[44] = "Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck

Norris.";
sArray[45] = "Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood

baths.";
sArray[46] = "In an average living room there are 1,242 objects

Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.";
sArray[47] = "Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a

..Who has more testicles? contest.. Chuck Norris won by 5.";
sArray[48] = "Chuck Norris sheds his skin twice a year.";
sArray[49] = "When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt

get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out..";
sArray[50] = "There are no races, only countries of people Chuck

Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.";
sArray[51] = "Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his

friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.";
sArray[52] = "There are no steroids in baseball. Just players

Chuck Norris has breathed on.";
sArray[53] = "A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the

preferred method of execution in 16 states.";
sArray[54] = "When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris

doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.";
sArray[55] = "Scientists have estimated that the energy given off

during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris

Roundhouse Kick)";
sArray[56] = "Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that

he walks through. ";
sArray[57] = "How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a

woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.";
sArray[58] = "Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the

words assemble themselves out of fear.";
sArray[59] = "In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas

have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just

ask to be Chucksized. ";
sArray[60] = "Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.";
sArray[61] = "If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could

power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.";
sArray[62] = "Chuck Norris can divide by zero.";
sArray[63] = "The grass is always greener on the other side,

unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is

most likely soaked in blood and tears.";
sArray[64] = "A picture is worth a thousand words. A Chuck Norris

is worth 1 billion words.";
dArray[65] = "While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of

welding titanium.";
dArray[66] = "Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin

textbook company when it became apparent that their account of

the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.";
dArray[67] = "When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And

dies";
dArray[68] = "When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its

hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.";
dArray[69] = "Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough

Chuck Norris to go around.";
dArray[70] = "Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the

face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck

Norris.'";
dArray[71] = "For some, the left testicle is larger than the

right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the

other one";
dArray[72] = "Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of

Carmen SanDiego.";
dArray[73] = "When taking the SAT, write !Chuck Norris ! every

answer. You will score over 8000";
dArray[74] = "When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is

equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.";
dArray[75] = "On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one

lucky child to be thrown into the sun";
dArray[76] = "Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Chuck

Norris.";
dArray[77] = "Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too

much. Chuck Norris throws down!";
dArray[78] = "In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck

Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said: Get a

job´. That is the story of the universe.";
dArray[79] = "Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is

the Earth.";
dArray[80] = "Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and

boils the water with his own rage.";
dArray[81] = "Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and

got one..";
dArray[82] = "There is one difference between a rooster and your

mom. The  rooster says cock-a-doodle doo, your mama says any-

cock'll do.";
dArray[83] = "Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar

was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be

contained in one building.";
dArray[84] = "If you Google search ^^Chuck Norris getting his ass

kicked^^ you will generate zero results. It just doesn't

happen.";
dArray[85] = "Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in

thirty-seven seconds.";
dArray[86] = "Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks

down one pin and the other nine faint.";
dArray[87] = "Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany.";
dArray[88] = "When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't

walk around people. He walks through them.";
dArray[89] = "Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping

pills. They made him blink.";
dArray[90] = "James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the

Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have

turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold

Schwarzenegger.";
dArray[91] = "Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.";
dArray[92] = "Thousands of years ago Chuck Norris came across a

bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It

was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white

hair.";
dArray[93] = "Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully

loaded gun and won.";
dArray[94] = "It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile,

but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.";
dArray[95] = "Chuck Norris's version of a `chocolate milkshake`

is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused

in diesel fuel.";
dArray[96] = "If Chuck Norris round-house kicks you, you will

die. If Chuck Norris' misses you with the round-house kick, the

wind behind the kick will tear out your pancreas.";
dArray[97] = "In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the

winner would be Chuck Norris.";
dArray[98] = "Chuck Norris puts his pants on one leg at a time,

just like the rest of us. The only difference is, then he kills

people. ";
dArray[99] = "Everybody loves Raymond. Except Chuck Norris";
dArray[100] = "Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of

16. Seconds.";
dArray[101] = "Chuck Norris can win at solitaire with only 18

cards.";
dArray[102] = "Chuck Norris once shat blood - the blood of 11,940

natives he had killed and eaten.";
dArray[103] = "Maslow's theory of higher needs does not apply to

Chuck Norris. He only has two needs: killing people and finding

people to kill.";
dArray[104] = "The truth will set you free. Unless Chuck Norris

has you, in which case, forget it buddy!";
dArray[105] = "Saddam Hussein was not found hiding in a ^hole^.

Saddam was roundhouse-kicked in the head by Chuck Norris in

Kansas, which sent him through the earth, stopping just short of

the surface of Iraq.";
dArray[106] = "Coroners refer to dead people as ABC's.:  Already

Been Chucked..";

var dArray = new Array();
dArray[0] = "Chuck Norris once farted. The result is known today

as 'Global Warming'.";


function OnEvent_ChatWndSendMessage(ChatWnd, Message){
    if(Message.substr(0,8).toLowerCase()=="/chuck"){
        var i = Math.floor((Math.random()*(sArray.length

-1)));
        return "[c=green]"+sArray[i]+"[/c]

";
    }
   
    if(Message.substr(0,7).toLowerCase()=="/norris"){
        var h = Math.floor((Math.random()*(dArray.length

-1)));
        return "[c=blue]"+dArray[h]+"[/c]";
    }
}

function OnGetScriptCommands(){
    var commands = '<ScriptCommands>';
        commands+='<Command>';
            commands+='<Name>chuck</Name>';
            commands+='<Description>Sends a "chuck"

sentence</Description>';
        commands+='</Command>';
        commands+='<Command>';
            commands+='<Name>Norris</Name>';
            commands+='<Description>Sends a "norris"

sentence</Description>';
        commands+='</Command>';
        commands+='</ScriptCommands>';
    return commands;
}

function OnEvent_MenuClicked(MenuItemId, Location, OriginWnd){
    if(MenuItemId=="ym"){
        OriginWnd.SendMessage(OnEvent_ChatWndSendMessage

("", "/chuck"));
    }
    if(MenuItemId=="i"){
        OriginWnd.SendMessage(OnEvent_ChatWndSendMessage

("", "/norris"));
    }
    if(MenuItemId=="about"){
        WndAbout = MsgPlus.CreateWnd("WndAbout.xml",

"WndAbout");
    }
}

function OnGetScriptMenu(nLocation){
    var ScriptMenu = "<ScriptMenu>\n";
    if(nLocation===2){
        ScriptMenu    +=    "<MenuEntry

Id=\"ym\">chuck</MenuEntry>";
        ScriptMenu    +=    "<MenuEntry

Id=\"i\">norris</MenuEntry>";
        ScriptMenu    +=    "<Separator/>";
    }
    ScriptMenu    +=    "<MenuEntry

Id=\"about\">About</MenuEntry>";
    ScriptMenu    += "</ScriptMenu>";
    return ScriptMenu;
}

function OnEvent_Uninitialize(MessengerExit)
{
}

---

Javascript code:

---

//This script is created by hebobo, With big testing help from
 
//Rolfi
//Version - 1.1 Final
//Released 22.09.08
//Last Updated 22.09.08
//Feel free to add your own chuck sentence by following the
 
//format as below
//Created for the Messenger Plus!
 
/*Changelog
0.1 - Script Created
0.2 - Made it functional
0.3 - Fixed most spelling/grammar mistakes
0.4 - Fixed bugs and some more grammar mistakes
0.5 - Fixed "unidentified" error =D (first real bug solved!)
0.6 - First realy good release :P
0,7 - allmost there, now with: "/chuck" command.
1.00 - FINAL RELEASE:  Now With both "/chuck" and "/norris"
 
command, with even more sentence about chuck norris
*/
 
var sArray = new Array();
var dArray = new Array();
 
 
sArray.push("If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.");
sArray.push("There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.");
sArray.push("70% of a human's weight is water. 70% of Chuck Norris' weight is his dick.");
sArray.push("Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song");
sArray.push("Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open");
sArray.push("Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip");
sArray.push("Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you");
sArray.push("Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise");
sArray.push("Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird. ");
sArray.push("Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People");
sArray.push("There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.");
sArray.push("Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.");
sArray.push("The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.");
sArray.push("There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist.");
sArray.push("Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.");
sArray.push("The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer.");
sArray.push("Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.");
sArray.push("Chuck Norris is my Homeboy");
sArray.push("Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting.... CHUCK NORRIS GOES KILLING");
sArray.push("Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks.");
sArray.push("Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.");
sArray.push("Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down");
sArray.push("The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably");
sArray.push("Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous");
sArray.push("If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, Two seconds 'til. After you ask, Two seconds 'til what? he roundhouse kicks you in the face.");
sArray.push("The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.");
sArray.push("CNN was originally created as the .Chuck Norris Network. to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time..");
sArray.push("Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.");
sArray.push("Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.");
sArray.push("What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.");
sArray.push("Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.");
sArray.push("Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.");
sArray.push("Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.");
sArray.push("Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.");
sArray.push("Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia.");
sArray.push("Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Massacre.");
sArray.push("If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.");
sArray.push("Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Chuck Norris once and he will roundhouse you in the face.");
sArray.push("Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, Bang!");
sArray.push("Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.");
sArray.push("Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.");
sArray.push("Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.");
sArray.push("Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Chuck Norris's warm-up exercises.");
sArray.push("In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.");
sArray.push("Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.");
sArray.push("Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.");
sArray.push("In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.");
sArray.push("Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a ..Who has more testicles? contest.. Chuck Norris won by 5.");
sArray.push("Chuck Norris sheds his skin twice a year.";)
sArray.push("When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out..");
sArray.push("There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.");
sArray.push("Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.");
sArray.push("There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.");
sArray.push("A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.");
sArray.push("When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.");
sArray.push("Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)");
sArray.push("Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through. ");
sArray.push("How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.");
sArray.push("Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.");
sArray.push("In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Chucksized. ");
sArray.push("Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.");
sArray.push("If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.");
sArray.push("Chuck Norris can divide by zero.");
sArray.push("The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.");
sArray.push("A picture is worth a thousand words. A Chuck Norris is worth 1 billion words.");
dArray.push("While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.");
dArray.push("Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.");
dArray.push("When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies");
dArray.push("When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.");
dArray.push("Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.");
dArray.push("Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.'");
dArray.push("For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one");
dArray.push("Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.");
dArray.push("When taking the SAT, write !Chuck Norris ! every answer. You will score over 8000");
dArray.push("When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.");
dArray.push("On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun");
dArray.push("Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Chuck Norris.");
dArray.push("Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!");
dArray.push("In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said: Get a job´. That is the story of the universe.");
dArray.push("Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.");
dArray.push("Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.");
dArray.push("Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one..");
dArray.push("There is one difference between a rooster and your mom. The  rooster says cock-a-doodle doo, your mama says any-cock'll do.");
dArray.push("Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.");
dArray.push("If you Google search ^^Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked^^ you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.");
dArray.push("Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds.");
dArray.push("Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.");
dArray.push("Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany.";)
dArray.push("When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them.");
dArray.push("Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.");
dArray.push("James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.");
dArray.push("Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.");
dArray.push("Thousands of years ago Chuck Norris came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair.");
dArray.push("Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.");
dArray.push("It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.");
dArray.push("Chuck Norris's version of a 'chocolate milkshake' is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.");
dArray.push("If Chuck Norris round-house kicks you, you will die. If Chuck Norris' misses you with the round-house kick, the wind behind the kick will tear out your pancreas.");
dArray.push("In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.");
dArray.push("Chuck Norris puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us. The only difference is, then he kills people. ");
dArray.push("Everybody loves Raymond. Except Chuck Norris");
dArray.push("Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16. Seconds.");
dArray.push("Chuck Norris can win at solitaire with only 18 cards.");
dArray.push("Chuck Norris once shat blood - the blood of 11,940 natives he had killed and eaten.");
dArray.push("Maslow's theory of higher needs does not apply to Chuck Norris. He only has two needs: killing people and finding people to kill.");
dArray.push("The truth will set you free. Unless Chuck Norris has you, in which case, forget it buddy!");
dArray.push("Saddam Hussein was not found hiding in a ^hole^. Saddam was roundhouse-kicked in the head by Chuck Norris in Kansas, which sent him through the earth, stopping just short of the surface of Iraq.");
dArray.push("Coroners refer to dead people as ABC's.:  Already Been Chucked..");
dArray.push("Chuck Norris once farted. The result is known today as 'Global Warming'.");
 
 
 
function OnEvent_ChatWndSendMessage(ChatWnd, Message){
    switch (Message.toLowerCase()) {
        case "/chuck":
            var i = Math.floor((sArray.length)*Math.random());
            return "[c=green]"+sArray[i]+"[/c] ";
            break;
        case "/norris":
            var i = Math.floor((dArray.length)*Math.random());
            return "[c=blue]"+dArray[i]+"[/c]";
            break;
    }
}
 
function OnGetScriptCommands(){
    return '<ScriptCommands>'+
        '<Command>'+
            '<Name>chuck</Name>'+
            '<Description>Sends a "chuck"sentence</Description>'+
        '</Command>'+
        '<Command>'+
            '<Name>Norris</Name>'+
            '<Description>Sends a "norris"sentence</Description>'+
        '</Command>'+
    '</ScriptCommands>';
}
 
function OnEvent_MenuClicked(MenuItemId, Location, OriginWnd){
    if(MenuItemId=="ym"){
        OriginWnd.SendMessage(OnEvent_ChatWndSendMessage(OriginWnd, "/chuck"));
    }else if(MenuItemId=="i"){
        OriginWnd.SendMessage(OnEvent_ChatWndSendMessage(OriginWnd, "/norris"));
    }else if(MenuItemId=="about"){
        WndAbout = MsgPlus.CreateWnd("WndAbout.xml","WndAbout");
    }
}
 
function OnGetScriptMenu(nLocation){
    var ScriptMenu = "<ScriptMenu>";
    if(nLocation===2){
        ScriptMenu    +=    "<MenuEntry Id=\"ym\">chuck</MenuEntry>";
        ScriptMenu    +=    "<MenuEntry Id=\"i\">norris</MenuEntry>";
        ScriptMenu    +=    "<Separator/>";
    }
    ScriptMenu    +=    "<MenuEntry Id=\"about\">About</MenuEntry>";
    ScriptMenu    += "</ScriptMenu>";
    return ScriptMenu;
}

---

Javascript code:

---

var oQuotes = {};
 
function OnEvent_Initialize(bMessengerStart) {
    var xml = createXml();
    if ( typeof xml !== 'object' ) return false;
    xml.load('quotes.xml');
    var quote = xml.selectNodes("/chucknoris/quote");
    for(i=0; i<quote.length; i++){
        oQuotes[i]=quote.text;
    }
}
 
function OnEvent_ChatWndSendMessage(ChatWnd, Message){
    switch (Message.toLowerCase()) {
        case "/chuck":
            return "[c=green]"+oQuotes[Math.floor((oQuotes.length)*Math.random())]+"[/c] ";
            break;
    }
}
 
function OnGetScriptCommands(){
    return '<ScriptCommands><Command><Name>chuck</Name><Description>Sends a Chuck Norris sentence</Description></Command></ScriptCommands>';
}
 
function OnEvent_MenuClicked(MenuItemId, Location, OriginWnd){
    if(MenuItemId=="ym"){
        OriginWnd.SendMessage(OnEvent_ChatWndSendMessage(OriginWnd, "/chuck"));
    }else if(MenuItemId=="about"){
        WndAbout = MsgPlus.CreateWnd("WndAbout.xml","WndAbout");
    }
}
 
function OnGetScriptMenu(nLocation){
    var ScriptMenu = "<ScriptMenu>";
    if(nLocation === MENULOC_CHATWND){
        ScriptMenu    +=    "<MenuEntry Id='ym'>chuck</MenuEntry>";
        ScriptMenu    +=    "<Separator/>";
    }
    ScriptMenu    +=    "<MenuEntry Id='about'>About</MenuEntry>";
    ScriptMenu    += "</ScriptMenu>";
    return ScriptMenu;
}
 
function createXml() {
    try {
        var xml = new ActiveXObject('Microsoft.XMLDOM');
        xml.async = true;
    } catch(e) {
        try {
            var xml = new ActiveXObject('MSXML2.DOMDocument');
            xml.async = true;
        } catch(e) {
            return false;
        }
    }
    return xml;
}

---

XML code:

---

<chucknorris>
    <quote>If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.</quote>
    <quote>There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.</quote>
    <quote>70% of a human's weight is water. 70% of Chuck Norris' weight is his dick.</quote>
    <quote>Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song</quote>
    <quote>Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open</quote>
    <quote>Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip</quote>
    <quote>Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you</quote>
    <quote>Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise</quote>
    <quote>Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird. </quote>
    <quote>Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People</quote>
    <quote>There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.</quote>
    <quote>Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.</quote>
    <quote>The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.</quote>
    <quote>There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist.</quote>
    <quote>Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.</quote>
    <quote>The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer.</quote>
    <quote>Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.</quote>
    <quote>Chuck Norris is my Homeboy</quote>
    <quote>Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting.... CHUCK NORRIS GOES KILLING</quote>
    <quote>Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks.</quote>
    <quote>Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.</quote>
    <quote>Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down</quote>
    <quote>The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably</quote>
    <quote>Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous</quote>
    <quote>If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, Two seconds 'til. After you ask, Two seconds 'til what? he roundhouse kicks you in the face.</quote>
    <quote>The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.</quote>
    <quote>CNN was originally created as the .Chuck Norris Network. to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time..</quote>
    <quote>Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.</quote>
    <quote>Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.</quote>
    <quote>What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.</quote>
    <quote>Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.</quote>
    <quote>Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.</quote>
    <quote>Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.</quote>
    <quote>Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.</quote>
    <quote>Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia.</quote>
    <quote>Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Massacre.</quote>
    <quote>If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.</quote>
    <quote>Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Chuck Norris once and he will roundhouse you in the face.</quote>
    <quote>Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, Bang!</quote>
    <quote>Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.</quote>
    <quote>Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.</quote>
    <quote>Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.</quote>
    <quote>Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Chuck Norris's warm-up exercises.</quote>
    <quote>In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.</quote>
    <quote>Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.</quote>
    <quote>Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.</quote>
    <quote>In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.</quote>
    <quote>Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a ..Who has more testicles? contest.. Chuck Norris won by 5.</quote>
    <quote>Chuck Norris sheds his skin twice a year.</quote>
    <quote>When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out..</quote>
    <quote>There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.</quote>
    <quote>Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.</quote>
    <quote>There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.</quote>
    <quote>A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.</quote>
    <quote>When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.</quote>
    <quote>Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)</quote>
    <quote>Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through. </quote>
    <quote>How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.</quote>
    <quote>Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.</quote>
    <quote>In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Chucksized. </quote>
    <quote>Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.</quote>
    <quote>If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.</quote>
    <quote>Chuck Norris can divide by zero.</quote>
    <quote>The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.</quote>
    <quote>A picture is worth a thousand words. A Chuck Norris is worth 1 billion words.</quote>
    <quote>While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.</quote>
    <quote>Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.</quote>
    <quote>When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies</quote>
    <quote>When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.</quote>
    <quote>Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.</quote>
    <quote>Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.'</quote>
    <quote>For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one</quote>
    <quote>Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.</quote>
    <quote>When taking the SAT, write !Chuck Norris ! every answer. You will score over 8000</quote>
    <quote>When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.</quote>
    <quote>On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun</quote>
    <quote>Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Chuck Norris.</quote>
    <quote>Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!</quote>
    <quote>In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said: Get a job´. That is the story of the universe.</quote>
    <quote>Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.</quote>
    <quote>Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.</quote>
    <quote>Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one..</quote>
    <quote>There is one difference between a rooster and your mom. The  rooster says cock-a-doodle doo, your mama says any-cock'll do.</quote>
    <quote>Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.</quote>
    <quote>If you Google search ^^Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked^^ you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.</quote>
    <quote>Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds.</quote>
    <quote>Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.</quote>
    <quote>Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany.</quote>
    <quote>When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them.</quote>
    <quote>Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.</quote>
    <quote>James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.</quote>
    <quote>Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.</quote>
    <quote>Thousands of years ago Chuck Norris came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair.</quote>
    <quote>Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.</quote>
    <quote>It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.</quote>
    <quote>Chuck Norris's version of a 'chocolate milkshake' is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.</quote>
    <quote>If Chuck Norris round-house kicks you, you will die. If Chuck Norris' misses you with the round-house kick, the wind behind the kick will tear out your pancreas.</quote>
    <quote>In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.</quote>
    <quote>Chuck Norris puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us. The only difference is, then he kills people. </quote>
    <quote>Everybody loves Raymond. Except Chuck Norris</quote>
    <quote>Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16. Seconds.</quote>
    <quote>Chuck Norris can win at solitaire with only 18 cards.</quote>
    <quote>Chuck Norris once shat blood - the blood of 11,940 natives he had killed and eaten.</quote>
    <quote>Maslow's theory of higher needs does not apply to Chuck Norris. He only has two needs: killing people and finding people to kill.</quote>
    <quote>The truth will set you free. Unless Chuck Norris has you, in which case, forget it buddy!</quote>
    <quote>Saddam Hussein was not found hiding in a ^hole^. Saddam was roundhouse-kicked in the head by Chuck Norris in Kansas, which sent him through the earth, stopping just short of the surface of Iraq.</quote>
    <quote>Coroners refer to dead people as ABC's.:  Already Been Chucked..</quote>
    <quote>Chuck Norris once farted. The result is known today as 'Global Warming'.</quote>
</chucknorris>

---