Shoutbox

I think you shouldn't ask a ridiculous question like that on internet community sites. Needless to add; especially not on one completely unrelated to emotional concerns.

The fact that you would create a post and a poll regarding a dramatic situation like this is only a testimony of your own wounds, you need to seek help. Professional guidance as well as emotional support from your family and friends, in real life..

Despite the fact that I think this post is a twisted (whether the situation is completely truthful or not) method to gain sympathy from random strangers on the web, I'll add the following.

I've experienced a few suicides myself, from both a professional and personal perspective. I've been on the brink myself a few times, sometimes through long term depression and other times I went from feeling well to near suicidal almost completely "random."
I know one thing for a fact. A suicide can never be derived from a person's circumstances. A suicide comes from several mental illnesses, most of which are not even recognized by symptoms, some of them have no "on paper" known therapy or medication. A lot of people who committed suicide have had this thought or idea inside their heads on a subconscious level, but it's also for a person to get this idea in their head completely random in a form of a Psychosis. This can happen to anyone, just like a heart attack hits some people who did not seem to deserve it.

If from my post you only choose to read one section, read this: Shut down your computer, get professional guidance and find comfort with family and friends, don't dwell on the "reason" (there is no complete reason, ever) and above all, don't feel like there's anything you could've done, because even if you could, you would've only temporarily postponed it.