elmo, for starters this is completely off topic in this thread....
Anyways, I'm not able to explain everything but from what I read you are also seriously misinterpreting stuff and using some scripts/plugins in the (very) wrong way.
For example:
quote:
Originally posted by elmo100
1 MINUTE A NEW CHAT EVENT SOUNDS WITH POP UP It doesn`t show in my window so I assume they are chatting to someone else
There is no way what-so-ever that you can know if your contact is talking to someone else. A 'New Chat' event does not mean the contact has started a new chat with somebody else, at all... That is impossible to know.
Furthermore, the meaning highly depends on what you mean with a "new chat" event and from what Messenger-tool it comes from. If it is the event build in Plus! itself (called 'event notifications' > 'started a new chat') it will only be triggered when a new conversation window actually _appears_ on your screen, which will only happen when the contact has actually send a message. If it is the event comming from so called "open window notifiers" it can mean 1001 other things since those "open window notifiers" do NOT work properly, NONE of them do.
Second, it wouldn't be the first time that a certain contact's Messenger has hickups and doesn't always show the real proper status to you. This can happen to one (or more) contacts on your contact list. So, I'm not saying the contact is not hiding from you, but to automatically come to the conclussion that he/she is, is also taking it too far...
Messenger is not a tool to
spy check on people. It isn't made for that and it (still) has too many hickups sometimes to make any strong conclussions like that, especially when used with 3rd party tools which are designed wrong or which can be misinterpret all too easy.
If you want to know what is up, my advise would be to talk to them directly, in real life (and remove 3rd party tools like "open window notifiers"). That's the only thing you can do to make sure....
/ 
