Shoutbox

     This dog walks into the butcher's shop one atfernoon, with a large basket in his mouth.  He jumps up onto the counter, puts the basket down and pulls a neatly folded note from within.  The butcher opens the note.  It reas: 'Please give the dog 1 lb of Cumberland sausages,  1 lb of smoky back bacon, half a dozon lamb chops, 2 lb of rump steak and three slices of gala pie.'
     The butcher weighs out the goods and puts them in the basket.  'That'll be £16.54, please.' he says to the dog, who takes a purse from the basket and counts out the exact money with his mouth.  The dog then nods his head in thanks, takes the basket back in his mouth, and leaves the shop.
     The butcher is stunned by the brilliance of this display - and even more so a week later, when the same thing happens.  A further week passes, and the same thing happens again, but this time the butcher shuts up the shop and follows the clever little dog as he trots through the streets.  He keeps behind the hound as he makes his way across busy intersections, always observing the Highway Code, until finally the dog walks up to a house, places the basket on the ground and knocks on the door with his paw.  The butcher is stunned by the intelligence of the canine.
     The door opens and a man in a stained wife-beater vest comes out and starts kicking the dog all over the pavement.  The butcher is horrified and runs the restrain the man.  'Stop!' he cries.  'Why are you beating such a clever little animal?'
     'He has to learn,' the man replies.  'This is the third time this month he's forgotten his keys.'