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RE: Has this contact deleted me?
They're not gone from both lists. They are on one list or the other, you need to check closer. Like djdannyp said, they may be listed as their email address OR their display name.
Just add them to your contacts list again, they won't receive a notification if you're already on their list. Then you can unblock them so they're on your allow list, then delete them, thus keeping them on your allow list but not on your contacts list.
Or take the sensible options of either just keeping them on your contacts list if you think you're going to want to talk to them OR block and delete them if you don't, I'm sure they will find a way to contact you if they really need to. Your choice.
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