This thread is 4 years old and information contained within it is irrelevant and obsolete.
b) Sharing Folders no longer exist in WLM 9.0,
c) There is no longer any way to determine if a contact is appearing offline. There was (many years ago) a way that it could be done, but it has been fixed for a long time now.
People need to sit back and think about why it's called "Appear Offline" and for what reasons people would want to use it.
I have a friend that always appears offline. I used to be notified when they came online, but I wouldn't talk to them unless they spoke to me first. It's a matter of courtesy if someone does not want to speak to you, don't force the issue.
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there are ways to find out if someone appears offline and i just found out that no one wants to chat to me 
