I have to agree with Lou and Meetc here.
I can't even begin to pretend to understand how you're feeling. But i know how tough it might be for someone who doesn't have closure over why he did what he did.
In my opinion, you shouldn't go through his computer, or any other personal source of written thoughts (diary?). I would like to think if i were in the same position i'd respect his decision to not tell me, but still honor him in my own ways.
however, nothing is stopping you from doing what you'd like (and chances are you have a preferred option, even if the difference is minor) And ultimately the choice is yours, so long as you can stomach what you may find.
quote:
Originally posted by SonicSam
go for it, and fuck everyone else
Pretty much sums up the latter part of my post.