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Family Life - Share your experiences, or offer support to others
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Tasha
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O.P. Family Life - Share your experiences, or offer support to others
I'm reposting this here, as for one reason, it is a serious subject, and my other thread about it got deleted because of arguements, and also, I want people to reply with actual thought tbh, and would like to know how others who have been through similar situations, feel, and we can share experiences, and act like a community. If you have other family situations, how do you handle them? What is your advice for others? This thread is not for petty arguements.



Here's my story, anyway:


quote:
Originally posted by me On Friday 2nd August
Well, we had to go to court today (2nd of august). At the end of may, my Dad hit my Mum with a hard backed book, which is obviously, assualt. So, she had him arrested. And he hasn't been back since. Anyway, we got an injunction on him, etc.

Anyway, we've had a lot of trouble for months with him, since he got assualted himself 5 years ago, caused damage to the frontal temperal lobe, (something like that). And when he came off the medication after a few years, he started going paranoid really. Thought everyone was out to get him, and that he was perfect. Me, Mum and my brother couldn't laugh without getting told off. So after about 18 months of living under horrid conditions, this happened, and now he's gone. We have had to leave the house one time, another time he had to leave for a night then came back the next morning with his parents, screaming abuse at us, etc. He refused to believe anything was wrong with him, and that it was us who had the problem. He even found it funny when my Mum went into hospital in March, and almost died on the way there. She's had diabetes since and should be having an operation soon-ish.

The night he got arrested, he locked my brother outta the house, me and my Mum were locked in, I was upstairs, kinda crying, then my Mum was walking through the hall, and he came up behind her and hit her on the back with a hard book. She then came up and told me to call the police. When the police came, they had a chat, it was hard to persuade my Dad to open the door, but he did. When the policewoman was reading him his rights, he started shouting at her, and then he tried to push the three of them (two policemen, one policewoman), out of the house, and then they had to get him down on the floor and he struggled a lot, but they managed to get him away. Other little things happened, but I won't write them.

So my Mum gave evidence at my Dad's assualt trial today. She was really nervous, but things seemed to go okay. I didn't actually go into the court room with her, but apparently my Dad's defense lawyer was a dick... My brother had to give evidence suddenly as well, but that's alright.
We have to wait until Monday to hear the outcome, but i'm sure it will be okay.
Oh yeah, forgot to add that Mum's been getting a divorce set up and everything, so that should go through soon.
I dislike my father... He always drank like a fish and smoked like a chimney... My Mum gave up smoking, but my Dad never did. He was almost always on the verge of drunk. He once called me a little whore... Odd, seeming as I have a boyfriend, rarely go out, and don't wear mini skirts and loads of make-up and revealing tops, and then he says on the divorce petition that he wants to see me... Well no way...

Sorry for the life story thing, but anyway...

News from today:

My dad was found "not guilty" due to "lack of evidence". Apparently the bruise and lump on my mums back wasn't important. Anyways, my mum is gonna get an injunction served on him to keep him away from us. This has made me, mum and my brother all feel angry, and vindictive. I definetely will not be seeing my father ever again. I can't believe that justice is so crap. T_T


Share your experiences and problems with family life, or just show support. Please do NOT argue.


Admins/mods, if you wanna move this, or split any part of it, feel free too, I just thought it would be a nice thread to have. :happy:

This post was edited on 09-05-2005 at 10:40 PM by Tasha.
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09-05-2005 09:39 PM
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FrozenDaggers
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RE: Family Life - Share you experiences, or offer support to others
Tasha, I know you've been through alot lately, you don't know me... but I understand what you've been through as I've had family problems and so have close friends of mine. Just to know my support and such is there :)

My friends dad often beats her up, and now her mum's got cancer and yeah, only couple of months left for her mum. I'm worried about her being at home with her dad. He gives her so much hasle and she just doesn't need it. :\

---


Edit // My friends mum died recently, but she's okay, and her family are closer than ever, which is good.

This post was edited on 02-03-2006 at 05:06 PM by FrozenDaggers.
09-05-2005 09:57 PM
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blackjack
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RE: Family Life - Share your experiences, or offer support to others
I dont know what are they thinking.. When parents do that.. is obviously bad for their kids.. Alcohol and that damn things are bad..  coz.. if u drink too much then you cant think about ur actions and that stuff..

Some family friends.. had some situation related to alcohol.. and they  need to leave the house.. and now they live near me again..

They told him to get a job, but he didnt.. he's in a house without a kitchen, without a bed.. food and that stuff.. His family hates him now.. they dont want to see him again.. brings problems.. He is not working.. all the money was from my friends mom

But he needs money again :undecided: and starts going to their house coz he needs to eat.. and he said that he was looking for a job.. but that was a damn lie.. He is desperate.. but he made wrong things and hurt his family.. all that because of alcohol

The other day (That guy) came to my house.. his daughter was here.. and wanted to see her.. i was outside.. with somefriends.. and i told him i couldnt open the door.. coz i didnt have the keys (I lied, i always have the keys with me) But i didnt want to bring her problems and refuse to open the door..

he was drunk.. but then my mom came home.. And my little sister (Ignores the problem and that stuff) opened the damn door.. i dont know what happened that day.. i hope nothing bad.. =/ i went to a party that day..

Well i told this story.. coz that affects me too they are my friends.. and their father is acting strange.. always drunk and probably consumming drugs

Yeah i know.. long post

And stop Posting offtopic.. this is gcc remember :dodgy:
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09-05-2005 10:10 PM
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Tasha
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O.P. RE: Family Life - Share your experiences, or offer support to others
quote:
Originally posted by FrozenDaggers

My friends dad often beats her up, and now her mum's got cancer and yeah, only couple of months left for her mum. I'm worried about her being at home with her dad. He gives her so much hasle and she just doesn't need it. :\

wow, thats just, horrible. Is there anyway she can get out of there, or get help? Becuase he will probably get worse after... Well, you know. :-/


quote:
Originally posted by blaCkjaCk
I dont know what are they thinking.. When parents do that.. is obviously bad for their kids.. Alcohol and that damn things are bad..  coz.. if u drink too much then you cant think about ur actions and that stuff..

Some family friends.. had some situation related to alcohol.. and they  need to leave the house.. and now they live near me again..

They told him to get a job, but he didnt.. he's in a house without a kitchen, without a bed.. food and that stuff.. His family hates him now.. they dont want to see him again.. brings problems.. He is not working.. all the money was from my friends mom

But he needs money again :undecided: and starts going to their house coz he needs to eat.. and he said that he was looking for a job.. but that was a damn lie.. He is desperate.. but he made wrong things and hurt his family.. all that because of alcohol

The other day (That guy) came to my house.. his daughter was here.. and wanted to see her.. i was outside.. with somefriends.. and i told him i couldnt open the door.. coz i didnt have the keys (I lied, i always have the keys with me) But i didnt want to bring her problems and refuse to open the door..

he was drunk.. but then my mom came home.. And my little sister (Ignores the problem and that stuff) opened the damn door.. i dont know what happened that day.. i hope nothing bad.. =/ i went to a party that day..

Well i told this story.. coz that affects me too they are my friends.. and their father is acting strange.. always drunk and probably consumming drugs

Yeah i know.. long post

And stop Posting offtopic.. this is gcc remember :dodgy:

I hate people that have issues because they start drinking a lot. It really annoys me that they can't control themselves. Hope things get better for your friend. (y) And it was good you lied to protect her, I think we all need to lie for a good reason at some point. :happy:

And yeah.. This is GCC, and this topic has a reason, a good one, imho, so please don't spam it...
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09-05-2005 10:20 PM
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FrozenDaggers
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RE: RE: Family Life - Share your experiences, or offer support to others
quote:
Originally posted by Tasha
quote:
Originally posted by FrozenDaggers

My friends dad often beats her up, and now her mum's got cancer and yeah, only couple of months left for her mum. I'm worried about her being at home with her dad. He gives her so much hasle and she just doesn't need it. :\

wow, thats just, horrible. Is there anyway she can get out of there, or get help? Becuase he will probably get worse after... Well, you know. :-/


She sometimes stays with her best mate if she can if things get too bad, but she's been with her bf a while now, so if things get bad she'll prolly go to him. I just hope things are ok. She's my hunni :(
09-05-2005 10:28 PM
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dylan!
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RE: Family Life - Share your experiences, or offer support to others
my family sucks...my mom did drugs(cocaine,crack needles) and wouldnt come home for weeks at a time...while my mom was gone or at work my dad would try n beat me and we would always fight...and i got kicked out on christmas last year for a month...and this year on my birthday (jan 13) they called the cops on me because i idnt want to go shopping and now whenever i need or want something like if a want a couple dollars for a slurpee i have to pay them back
09-05-2005 10:37 PM
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multimillion2k
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RE: Family Life - Share your experiences, or offer support to others
I guess you could say I grew up living a sheltered life. I was fortunate to be brought up in a household where abuse was an unknown word and home meant "safe". And in some ways I know that I will never have to worry about this sort of thing, even though my neighbourhood is full of bad things - sometimes my neighbours create their own version of "once were warriors".

It's hard to watch people going through this, especially standing on the outside. In some ways you wish you could show everyone that life doesn't have to be so full of crap, but unfortunately it doesn't work that way. Sometimes no matter how much you try or how much you want to help someone else, nothing seems to work. All you can do is pray and hope for a miracle.

In some ways it's amazing to hear stories like these, I find it hard to comprehend that people can survive this way. I'll never truly understand or experience situtations like this, but that's something I'm extremely grateful for.

This thread is GCC - Please keep it clean =)

This post was edited on 09-05-2005 at 10:57 PM by multimillion2k.
09-05-2005 10:56 PM
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YottabyteWizard
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RE: Family Life - Share your experiences, or offer support to others
I've been helping a lot of friends (and i love to) that also are having problems with family (including my girlfriend). It's really amazing and sometimes hard help them to go though this. My family also has some troubles sometimes, depression also is one of the common sources of home trouble but also not the worst.

Whoever needs help you can count with me too :)
09-05-2005 11:06 PM
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Pyroteq
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RE: Family Life - Share your experiences, or offer support to others
I have many problems and experiences, More than you can think of or would realise and im not exaggerating. Thier very personal and i wont post them here, however if you feel you need advice and help feel free to contact me.
09-06-2005 06:27 AM
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RE: Family Life - Share your experiences, or offer support to others
my family has problems my dad  owned a clothing store and we have to close it up, so he rents the buiding and we had other building to rent to, and since the clothing store close he was weird, he started drinking a lot, on partys he gets drunk and say shit, so one time my mom got a surgery, and the day my mom got release of the hospitol we threw a party on my house and my dad good very bad and punch my infront off all my family the were very scared so the talk to him and try to calm him down, and then he went to sleep cause he was drunk and the next day he didnt remember nothing. And another timme, just before my big brothers college graduation, he got drunk again on my house, with smoe uncles and he was talking shit about my and my big brother so my brother got very mad and confront my dad, and my dad start saying he was ashame of us cause we didnt study what he and my grandpa wanted to us to study and shit like that and my  brotther went and told him to calm down, my dad try to hit him and a grab his arm (dad's) and i told him to chill, he started saying bullshit of my and then he went to his room and fall sleep and the next day he didnt rememmber nothing. so cause off all these my mom got very depresse and shit, and my dad has diabetes and he dont take care of himself that another thing that made my mom depresse. at that time i was going to a ward time, cause my ex just broke up with my, u was kick out from the university of nogales(i wasnt gonna stay there i was going there till december then come to mexicali), and i had a lot of problems with friend and stuff like that, and i started drinkin alot i use  to have drinking problems, and i wanted to go back to Nogales, just for my little brother cause i dont want that he live all the thing i had to live at his age, i preffer much better that if my dad gets drunk that he hits my insted of my little brother but my grandma told my to go to mexicali an dshe will take care of my brother and mom and my dad. so all these past vacations i continuated with my drinking problems, almost every day i use to get drunk (in vacations), and just about one week before returning to mexicali i was with some friends at my house drinkin and my little brother went to the back yard with us and told my that he loves me a lot and he didnt want to see me drunk anymore that it isnt worth it, so since then i stop drinking, know i have about 1 month sober and to be honest its very hard but i know i got my brothers and mother helping me

and after the break on Behind the music, sorry i have to post a bad joke after all these
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09-06-2005 06:51 AM
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